It’s no secret that recent events may have caused some Americans to look unfavorably upon foreign visitors. However, believes in the concept of the global village, and we’ve put together the following list of American phrases and slang that is sure to help anyone visiting our shores for the very first time.

May I buy you a pair of concert tickets for The Rolling Stones?

The above 13 words are guaranteed to help you break the ice and make new friends. In fact, this could be the most important phrase you’ll ever utter while visiting America. Variations include “May I treat you to a Bob Dylan show?” and “I would like to give you these tickets for Guns N’ Roses.”

May I buy you dinner before the B.B. King show?

“This phrase, while popular, may not be appropriate for all occasions. Best to use when in the vicinity of establishments that Americans describe as “four star restaurants.” While used frequently throughout most of the 20th century, usage of this phrase has dropped in favor of the following:

Here, take my credit card.

What can we say? The above five words have been known to break down barriers and cross language boundaries throughout the world. When used in conjunction with “and buy tickets for Blue Oyster Cult, Reel Big Fish and Peter Wolf,” this phrase has even helped our international visitors avoid robbery and bodily harm. In fact, nine out of ten language experts agree that this phrase can be used successfully regardless of the situation.

Of course, there are other phrases worth mentioning, such as “let me give you my Peter Gabriel tickets,” and “my James Taylor tickets are your James Taylor tickets,” as well as the one-size-fits-all exclamation; “the service charges are on me!” enabling even the most linguistically challenged foreign tourists to enjoy safe and fun-filled vacations in the United States.

Coming up next week we’ll discuss how to select the proper limousine as well as choosing the right clothing when it comes to giving gifts to your new American friends. Until then, bon voyage!