“Bob! And what do I owe the honor of this surprise phone call? How’s my big brother, the big shot lawyer?”

“Doing fine, Sis. In fact, I just got this new job with the RIAA and they’re sending me to your city to open a branch litigation office. Plus, they’re giving me a hefty entertainment budget.”

“That’s great, Bob! Just think of it! We can go to concerts together, just like when we were growing up.”

“My thoughts exactly, Sis. Who do you want to see?”

“Well, I just read that Audioslave and Bon Jovi are coming here next month.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“And Erasure is coming in March. Gosh, Bob this will be just like old -“

“MOMMY! HE’S COMING IN THROUGH THE WINDOW!”

“Er, was that little Jeffrey?”

“I’m afraid so, Bob. Something frightened him on television the other night, and he’s been scared of the dark ever since. Can you hold? This will just take a second.”

Five minutes later…

“Sorry, I took so long, Bob.”

“That’s okay, Sis. Hey, do you remember when Dad took us to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre?”

“And how we were convinced that Leatherface was actually Dad’s new wife without her makeup? We didn’t sleep for a week. Now, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah, concerts. Who would you like to see, Bob?”

“I was in a country music mood. Do you like Kenny Chesney?”

“Do I? He’s my favorite. And he’s coming to town with Montgomery Gentry.”

“Great. I’ll pick up a pair of tickets tomorrow, and -“

“MOMMY! HE’S IN THE BATHROOM!”

“Oh, heck. Not again. Uh. This will just take a minute, Bob.”

“Sure, Sis.”

Ten minutes later…

“Gosh, I’m sorry, Bob. I didn’t realize it would take so long.”

“Think nothing of it, Sis. Remember when Dad took us to see I Spit On Your Grave? We slept with the lights on for a whole month. Anyway, who else is coming to town?”

“Well, there’s Tori Amos in February, Sigur Ros in March and -“

“MOMMY! HE’S UNDER MY BED!”

“Uh, this will just take a -“

“Take all the time you need, Sis.”

Thirty minutes later…

“Gee, I’m sorry, Bob.”

“No problemo, Sis. So, what did little Jeffrey see on TV that scared him so badly? Wait, I’ll bet it was Bloodsucking Freaks. That always gave me the willies.”

“No, it wasn’t Bloodsucking Freaks. Besides, he’s seen that five times. He’s used to it.”

“Slumber Party Massacre? Ilsa – She Wolf of the SS?”

“No, he’s seen those movies before. Laughed all the way through them. No, I’m afraid he saw something on television this past Saturday that frightened the crap out of him, and he’s been scared stiff ever since.”

“Saturday? You don’t mean.”

“Uh, uh. I let him stay up to see The Rolling Stones live on HBO, and I’m afraid he got a little too close to the screen during Keith’s solos, and… and… Bob? Are you still there? Bob? Bob??”

“Er. Sorry about that, Sis, but I think someone is hiding in my closet.”