“Oh, Sid. What about the kids? I already told them we were going to do it. This is really going to confuse them.”

“I know. Tell you what. Let’s go over it one more time. Maybe we’re missing something.”

“Okay. First off, tickets for The Rolling Stones and that Aerosmith / KISS co-headline.”

“We’re paying cash for first and VISA for the second.”

Ash, Avril Lavigne and Paul McCartney?”

“Cash, Mastercard, and that loan against my 401k.”

Bob Dylan and Cher?”

“Fifty percent of our stock in AOL – Time Warner and whatever we make on next week’s yard sale.”

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Widespread Panic and Paul Anka?”

“American Express, your diamond engagement ring and what’s left on the home equity line of credit.”


“Lessee… Punch in the formula and… Nope. Same answer as before, Nancy. I’m afraid we’re going to have to be more creative if we want to do it this summer.”

“What if we put all our efforts into seeing the packaged tours, like Ozzfest, Lollapalooza and Metallica’s We’ll see more bands per show.”

“And get more bang for the buck? Hmmm… That just might work. Lessee… Add the four… Carry the two… Divide by 3… Nope. Still can’t do it.”

“Not even if we go showerless the entire month of June?”

“Nope. Not even if we turn all the lights out by 10:00 p.m., or flush on alternate days. We just can’t afford it.”

“Oh, my. What are we going to tell the kids, Sid?”

“I don’t know, Nancy. I just don’t know.”

“Wait! I got it! If we can’t afford to get divorced this summer, why don’t we go the cheap route and get a trial separation”

“Are you kidding? We still have to budget for Phish, Bon Jovi and Jimmy Buffett.”

“So, what you’re saying is…”

“We’ll just have to wait until next year.”