There’s been a lot of news about overeating. Stories claiming that we eat way too much fat and don’t get nearly enough exercise. Seems that the entire health community is concerned about extra baggage, love handles, and hearts totally surrounded by gargantuan lumps of fatty tissue while laboriously pumping calorie-laden blood through cholesterol-encrusted veins and arteries. Well, we have one word for those self-appointed liberal do-gooders that want us to skip the chocolate malts, french fries and pork rinds in favor of lettuce and soy burgers.

Buzz off!

We’re tired of all those nasty remarks about how we’re going to need our own zip code when we try to purchase hill seats for Jimmy Buffett. We’re sick of those snide comments about needing two seats for Iron Maiden – one for each buttock. And we’re fed up with those asinine observations about how we’re, well, fed up.

It’s time to take what’s ours, people! And we’re going to start with this Web site. Let the word go out to near and far. From now on is a thin-free zone!

That’s right! We’re the bards of lard and we’re taking the bull by the horns. We’re putting all our eggs into one basket and we’re going for the entire enchilada by saying fat is beautiful, weight is great, blubber is for lovers and portly is courtly. No matter if you’re a fan of Will Bernard, Bruce Cockburn or The Dead, if you’re stout, you’re what it’s about. Make no mistake about it. We’re proud, yet humble, to be your corpulent corporate concert Web site.

So, you wanna grab the chips and hunker down with the new dates for The Rippingtons feat. Russ Freeman? No problem! You wanna get greasy and cram bacon, butter and biscuits into your mouth while looking at the routings for Blackalicious and Evanescence? No problem! Because at you can let it all hang out and be as gluttonous as you wanna be. It’s no problem!

Unless of course, you cut in front of us in line at Mickey D’s. Then there’s gonna be a problem.