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Tours de Farce: Spaced Out
“Hello? Pollstar.com? I’m transporting a kidney to a hospital where it will be transplanted into a 12-year-old boy, and my car has broken down somewhere in the middle of Los Angeles. I’m from out of town, I have no idea where I am, and furthermore, I think this sack of dry ice has seen better days. Can you help me?
“Of course we can help you, Mr. Peterson. According to your Pollstar.com transponder, your present location puts you in the perfect position to catch Pete Yorn at
“Gee, Thanks Pollstar.com.”
“Think nothing of it. Keep cool, okay?”
With over 57 satellites orbiting the globe, the Pollstar.com Transponder Network is ready when you need concert information 24/7, no matter where you may be…
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“A promo appearance? Hmmm…. I don’t know.”
“Oh, wait a minute. You’re a gold member. That means I can check our ‘nearby city’ database. Here you go. The
You’re never out of touch with the Pollstar.com Transponder Network…
“Hello? Pollstar.com? I’m in Detroit and I’ve just been car-jacked. I’m not sure of my exact location and -“
“No problem, Mr. Albertson. The Foo Fighters are playing at
The Pollstar.com Transponder Network…
“Hello? Pollstar.com? This is Michael, again. I followed the directions you gave me to see Berlin in Portland, Oregon, but I can’t find the venue.”
“Hmmm… According to your transponder, you should be right outside the club where the band is playing.”
When you positively, absolutely, need a concert right now.
“But I don’t see any nightclub.”
“That’s impossible. You should be just a few feet from the club’s front entrance. It should be as clear as the nose on your face, Mr. Jackson.”
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