“Hello? Pollstar.com? I’m transporting a kidney to a hospital where it will be transplanted into a 12-year-old boy, and my car has broken down somewhere in the middle of Los Angeles. I’m from out of town, I have no idea where I am, and furthermore, I think this sack of dry ice has seen better days. Can you help me?

“Of course we can help you, Mr. Peterson. According to your Pollstar.com transponder, your present location puts you in the perfect position to catch Pete Yorn at or Jack Johnson at the , and still make it to the hospital on time.”

“Gee, Thanks Pollstar.com.”

“Think nothing of it. Keep cool, okay?”

With over 57 satellites orbiting the globe, the Pollstar.com Transponder Network is ready when you need concert information 24/7, no matter where you may be…

“Hello? Pollstar.com? I’m in deep doo-doo. I’ve just been arrested in Denver for being intoxicated in public. I’m sitting in a holding cell, and I don’t like the looks the other prisoners are giving me, especially the big lug over in the corner who was arrested for wrestling bears without a license. Help me, Pollstar.com. Oh, please help me.”

“Not to worry, Mr. Johnson. I’ve pinpointed your location and called a bail bondsman. You should be out in time to catch Styx at their promo appearance at Tower Records.”

“A promo appearance? Hmmm…. I don’t know.”

“Oh, wait a minute. You’re a gold member. That means I can check our ‘nearby city’ database. Here you go. The , featuring Musiq and Jaguar Wright, is at the in Englewood. Would you like directions?”

You’re never out of touch with the Pollstar.com Transponder Network…

“Hello? Pollstar.com? I’m in Detroit and I’ve just been car-jacked. I’m not sure of my exact location and -“

“No problem, Mr. Albertson. The Foo Fighters are playing at tonight. Just tell the car-jacker to make a left at the next corner, then take I-75 southbound to the Jefferson Street exit.”

The Pollstar.com Transponder Network…

“Hello? Pollstar.com? This is Michael, again. I followed the directions you gave me to see Berlin in Portland, Oregon, but I can’t find the venue.”

“Hmmm… According to your transponder, you should be right outside the club where the band is playing.”

When you positively, absolutely, need a concert right now.

“But I don’t see any nightclub.”

“That’s impossible. You should be just a few feet from the club’s front entrance. It should be as clear as the nose on your face, Mr. Jackson.”

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