Features
Tours de Farce: Corporate Strategy
“Coming right up. Say, why so glum? It’s like you have a black cloud following you wherever you go.”
“I think I’m having a mid-life crisis, Joe. I keep wondering if there’s something better out there.”
“You mean that old ‘grass is greener’ thing? But you’re the biggest concert promoter in the state. How could your life possibly be any better? Didn’t you just promote a Dave Matthews Band concert? And don’t you have Lollapalooza, Ozzfest and Vans Warped Tour coming up?”
“That’s right. Also Pearl Jam in August and Cher in September. But I have to admit, times sure have changed since I started out in this business.”
“You mean, back before you sold your company to that national concert promotion company?”
“Bingo! Now, don’t get me wrong, Joe. Selling my company to the national promoter, then staying on to run it for them was the smartest thing I ever did. I have more capital to spend on major acts like Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band and that Aerosmith / KISS co-headline. However, I miss the old days when a guy like me promoted concerts by the seat of his pants. Promoting a show, like Anthrax, Red Hot Chili Peppers or Boston, was always an adventure in itself. You never knew what was going to happen next. Now, everything is so… so…”
“Corporate?”
“You said it, Joe. In the old days everything was done on a smile and a handshake. Now, I’m buried in paper. Take today, for instance. I spent the morning with a parking lot designer trying to figure out if we can jam more cars in the lots if we shaved a half-foot off of the width of each parking space.”
“And?”
“It would work for the Radiohead concert, but I have my doubts about the Fleetwood Mac crowd. Too many SUVs, you know?”
“I hear you.”
“And then I spent the afternoon filling out forms. Insurance forms for The White Stripes. Transportation forms for Nelly. Groupie requisition forms for the
“But isn’t that the price of progress? After all, you’re a businessman, and business is always evolving. You started out on the ground floor and -“
“And now I’m in the penthouse suite. I know what you’re saying, Joe, but I really miss the old days. Hmmm… Maybe it’s time for me to step aside and let a younger man take my place.”
“Huh? Certainly, you’re not serious.”
“Serious like a plague in Toronto, Joe. I’ve had it up to here with the corporate mentality. I’m sick and tired of having to run everything by the corporate head office. I hate playing the corporate political game. I want to tell them to take their corporate b.s. and stick it where the sun don’t shine.”
“That’s pretty rad. But what would you do?”
“Oh, that’s the easy part. I’d go back to my old profession. Back to the career I had before I became a promoter. Back before the world became so… so… corporate.”
“You mean?”
“That’s right. I’d go back into broadcasting. Get a job at a TV station.”
“TV? But isn’t the television biz as corporate as the concert industry? If not more so?”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right, Joe. TV isn’t the answer.”
“I should say not.”
“I think I’ll go back into radio, instead.”