“Hey, Ralph! Long time, no see. What brings you down here today?”

“Our anniversary is coming up, George, and I thought I’d surprise Darla with a pair of tickets for Simon & Garfunkel.”

“Darla? You’re still married to Darla? I thought you two split up years ago.”

“Nah, we’re still together. Taking it one day at a time, and loving every minute of it.”

“And you’re buying concert tickets for your anniversary? I don’t get it. Didn’t Darla try to poison you by sprinkling Drano on your cornflakes that time you bought Bryan Adams tickets for your fifth anniversary?”

“Uh, yeah. But this time it’s different, George. Things change, you know?”

“I don’t know about that, Ralph. Remember your sixth anniversary when you gave Darla tickets for Snoop Dogg?”

“How can I forget? That’s when she switched my high-blood pressure medicine with those caffeine tablets.”

“And the paramedics had to use the Jaws of Life to pry you off the ceiling. But that wasn’t anything like your seventh anniversary when you gave her those Westlife tickets. Remember the Play Dough in your mashed potatoes?”

“Oh, yeah. That’s when she tried to constipate me to death. But this time it’s different.”

“Different? Like your eighth anniversary when you gave her Seal tickets? Remember what happened then?”

“Er… She shot me.”

“Right. And your ninth anniversary? When you gave her Phish tickets?”

“Uh… She stabbed me.”

“Uh, uh… And then there was your tenth anniversary when you gave her tickets for Barenaked Ladies and Ryan Adams. Remember what happened then?”

“Yeah. That’s when she tossed the radio in the tub while I was taking a shower. But this time is going to be different. Just you watch.”

“I don’t get you, Ralph. Darla has tried to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate you every time you brought home concert tickets for your anniversary. Tell me, Ralph, what makes you think this time’s going to be different than all those other anniversaries?”

“Well, it has to be different this time, George.”

“And why’s that, Ralph?”

“This time I bought better seats.”