Features
Tours de Farce: When We Paint Our Masterpiece
Is the routing for Shania Twain as colorful as anything by Monet? Do the schedules for Sting and John Mayer compare favorably to Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa or David’s Michelangelo? Is the itinerary for The Von Trapp Children reminiscent of Picasso’s glory years – circular lines and oval cubes combined with an attempt to derive orderly chaos out of chaotic disorder?
To the casual observer, the listing for Eric Sardinas may seem like so many cities and venues, but to the educated eye there’s that seemingly effortless balance of shadow and light that makes one ponder if a concert routing is more than a series of dates in chronological order. Furthermore, the texture found in the dates for Paul Anka, or the rich fiber contained within the listings for Guttermouth and George Winston begs one to look past the obvious and seek out that which no one can see.
But if art is often determined by the eye of the beholder, from which organ or orifice did the timetables for Britney Spears and Rod Stewart originate? Like the famous masters of old, must one suffer in order to create routings for Jane’s Addiction, Blue Dogs and Dennis DeYoung? Did someone cut off his ear while routing The Suicide Machines? Furthermore, do the schedules for Average White Band and Kool & the Gang go up in value after the deaths of those responsible? As you can see, concert routings, like art, often raise more questions than most people are capable of asking.
But isn’t that the purpose of tour schedules? To confront the mind and challenge the soul? Modern art, pop art, traditionalism and neo-nihilism, they can all be found between the dates for B2K, Delbert McClinton and Todd Snider. The posting for Will Hoge infuriates, the listings for Something Corporate and Phish bring rise to feelings of joy, pain, happiness and sorrow, while the dates for George “Goober” Lindsey bring about heartache and ecstasy. But, collectively speaking, is it art?
We’ve struggled with the concept of concert schedules being on par with Rembrandt and Chagall for as long as we can remember. Yes, it’s been a busy 24 hours indeed. And when we try to come up with an all-encompassing answer to the question as to the artistry of concert routings, we’re left stumbling to the sounds of “Rhinestone Cowboy” as we search for an answer. In short, we’re not really sure as to whether or not the listings for Shawn Mullins or Nonpoint can be considered “art.” However, we do know what we like, and we think we just might figure out an answer. That is, if we have enough time to ponder the question.
That, and watch PBS. Oh, oh, another fundraiser. Hmmm… This is going to take longer than we thought.