Features
Tours de Farce: Almost Famous
We’re asked that a lot. After all, when you run the world’s largest third-party concert database, the first obvious question is always about celebrity sightings. And no wonder, for we’re based in Fresno, California, where the stars come out and play 365 days a year, and it’s not uncommon to run into some of the biggest names in the biz while picking up a sixer at the local supermarket, or bailing out a buddy down at the county lock-up. In fact, one would be hard-pressed to go about one’s day without meeting a famous face. That’s Fresno for you.
For example, we were knocking down a few pins at the local bowl-a-rama, when we noticed a finely dressed gentleman on the next lane concentrating on picking up a 7 – 10 split. Well-groomed blonde hair, an English accent – we couldn’t believe our luck. So we walked up to him as he was about to begin his approach to the foul line and asked, “Hey! Aren’t you Sting’s tour accountant?”
No, we didn’t get an autograph, but the look on his face, coupled with his 285-pound bodyguard jamming our face into the ball return, was reward enough. Gosh it was exciting.
Or take the other night when we were in the rest room at Greasy Greg’s Bar & Grill. You’d never guess who was standing at the next urinal. That’s right. Opeth’s insurance agent! And he looks just like his pictures! Who would have guessed?
Whether it’s Ryan Adams’ wardrobe manager, Leftover Salmon’s bus driver or Diana Ross’ hotel plumbing specialist, we’ve met them all. We’ve hung out at the 7-11 with the mailman for Neil Young, and we’ve closed up more than a few Denny’s with Rod Stewart’s proctologist. Heck, we’ve even cruised the Burger King drive-thrus with the leader of the Holly, Michigan, street team for James Darren. Man, talk about your party animals.
Call it a professional perk, call it business as usual, call it luck. We don’t care. For the truth is hardly a day goes by when we don’t run into some of the most famous people in music. Drivers for Linkin Park, Dada’s merchandise manager, even the fan club sergeant-of-arms for Sarah Brightman – we’ve shaken their hands, bought them a few drinks, even had them over for dinner. Sure, go ahead. Call us name-droppers. We’ve heard it all before.
But that’s our lot in life. Managing data for tours by Elton John, Toby Keith and UFO, and hobnobbing with the concert industry’s elite. And when someone asks us, as they usually do, whether or not we’ve ever met anyone famous like Melissa Etheridge, Ronan Keating, or even Richard Cheese & Lounge Against The Machine, we look them in the eye and tell them the truth. No, we’ve never met any of those people.
Instead, we tell them, we’ve met only the people that matter.