Why do we risk life and limb every day to bring you the latest schedules for Primus and John Prine? Concert data gathering is fraught with hidden dangers, and we’d be lying to you if we said this job is as safe as working an all-night convenience store or repossessing cars for a living.

But don’t get the wrong idea. We’re not risk takers. However, we cannot ignore the fact that accidents do happen. After all, when you consider all the heavy machinery, electrical generators and sharp implements needed to list something as simple as Neil Young playing in Detroit on March 9, it’s a wonder our employee / fatality rate never dips below 50 percent.

On the other hand, our injury / survival ratio has never been better. Heck, hardly a day goes by when our on-site doctors aren’t busy as beavers cutting, sewing or inserting something into our workers.

Like the other day when our doctors worked feverishly to reattach a severed limb caused when someone got sloppy alphabetizing the list of venues for the Metallica tour. Or last week when an employee suffered second-degree burns due to a font boiler explosion, and we all lined up to donate for his much-needed skin grafts. Then there was this morning’s incident resulting in 24 of our finest workers suffering from deep, psychological trauma after handling the Jewel itinerary. Frightening? Sure it is, but we never told them this job was a piece of cake.

Truth be told, if we had a nickel for every bandage, suture, full-body cast and emergency vasectomy performed in the Pollstar.com infirmary, we’d be almost as rich as we are collecting a quarter every time someone clicks on bands like Limp Bizkit or Morbid Angel. But we’re not risk takers. We’re not thrill seekers walking that fine line between success and catastrophe in order to get that intoxicating rush when one adds a support act to Sevendust or updates the Kenny Chesney schedule.

So why do we work here? Why do we suffer uncountable injuries to bring you Shania Twain, Switchfoot and Gov’t Mule if we don’t get our jollies off of experiencing a bit of blood and gore with our work?

The answer is obvious if you think about it. We work here for the excellent employee health plan. After all, when was the last time you didn’t have to wait to see your doctor?