Not only have we taken notice of your grumbling, but we’ve caught wind of your complaints and passed them on to the top of the Pollstar.com food chain. We realize that things have gotten out of hand and it’s time to clamp down on everything that may offend you, the loyal Pollstar.com user, as you look up the latest dates for stars such as Prince or check on updates for existing tours by The Beach Boys and Metallica. We’re cleaning up our act, washing our collective mouths out with soap and cleansing our infrastructure of everything that is nasty, naughty and vile.
In short, we are leading the fight to eliminate obscenity from the Web.
However, it won’t be easy, for old habits die hard. But rest assured, no longer will you and your loved ones risk seeing Janet’s breast, Justin’s chest or Yanni’s organ when spending quality time with your favorite concert-info Web site. Just like the concert industry it reports on 24/7, Pollstar.com stands for nothing if not decency, and we would be totally negligent in our duties if we did not present itineraries, such as the latest schedules for Mary J. Blige, Paul Weller and KISS, in a clean and wholesome environment.
Make no mistake about it! Pollstar.com is now a booty-free zone. No more gratuitous sex scenes while displaying The Strokes routing, no more sly innuendo about “Weird Al” Yankovic’s squeeze box, no more smart-aleck comments about what makes G. Love’s sauce so special. From this day forward, we’re a mean, lean, obscene-free, tour date machine. Heck, we’re so clean, you could eat off of our home page!
Of course, we experienced more than a few speed bumps on the road to Cleanville. Sure, we had to fire a few programmers who thought every concert date taking place in Paris should be linked to Ms. Hilton’s video, as well as dismiss the data operators who often doffed their clothes and proudly showed off to the world how many different ways they could enter dates for Fuel and Arrested Development. Plus, there were all those incidents of swearing and obscene gesturing whenever things didn’t work right, such as our intranet crashing, or our vending machines running out of Prozac and vodka. But when push came to shove-it, they saw the error of their ways, and climbed on board the Pollstar.com bandwagon of decency and purity to ensure that this Web site is as chaste as a 1940’s Walt Disney movie.
Oh, and one more thing. For those of you who have taken the time to complain about this Web site’s past digressions into questionable content, X-rated dialogue and unnecessary displays of skin and bodily functions when listing concert routings for Catie Curtis, Michelle Malone and The Doors Of The 21st Century, we would like to thank you for your patience and understanding. You folks are terrific! It’s because of people like you that we’re cleaning up our act.
So stop your damn bitchin’.