But we’re writing today’s column from home, mainly because we promised the wife we’d watch the kids while she goes out with her animal husbandry club to see Richard Thompson.

Hard to believe, isn’t it? That between compiling radio show appearances for Puddle Of Mudd and researching tours for The Wailers, Candy Butchers and Sleater – Kinney, we’ve actually found time to raise a family. But as the big promoters like to say, “the proof is in the pudding concessions,” and not only have we found time to procreate, but we even know how to spell the word, resulting in two fine teenagers named Mervyn and Henrietta.

Which brings us to today’s topic. While watching our two children grow up , we’ve learned that what they say is true, that music is the universal language. For example, our son, Melvyn, through his love for Metallica and Wayne Newton, has made new friends who will always loan him money, while our daughter, Henny, has learned the ins-and-outs of the business world by joining the street team for Rush, as well as working as a groupie-in-training on the Rick Springfield tour. In short, music has enriched our children’s lives far more than a formal education or a couple of weeks at Betty Ford. In fact, you might even say that music is the foundation upon which our children’s lives are built.

But it wasn’t always like this. We still recall our own parents, and how they used to yell at us for playing our David Bowie albums too loud, or for blasting Styx and Art Garfunkel from our stereo. “Turn that down!” they’d scream. “Or we’ll send you off to work making hockey pucks in a Saskatchewan sweat shop!”

Thankfully, we’re not like our parents.

Each day we get down on our knees and thank God for blessing us with two fine children like Marvin and Henna. Furthermore, we have come to appreciate how music, like Phil Collins, Bret Michaels and Eric Clapton, has brought our little family together. You won’t find any generation gap in our household, none of this “why don’t they make music like the songs we heard when we were growing up” stuff. In fact, you might even say that our little household is a microcosm of the world at large, and that music has brought peace and understanding to our little corner of the universe. Furthermore… Furthermore… Just a second. This will only take a minute.

HEY YOU KIDS! MERV AND HANNA! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU’RE DOING? TURN THAT THING DOWN BEFORE WE SEND YOU OFF TO THE DICK CHENEY YOUTH CAMP. NO, NOT LATER. NOW!

Uh… Sorry about that. Now, where were we?