“Oh? What’s that, dear?”

“I was fired.”


“I was fired. Cut loose. Dismissed. Canned. Deep-sixed. Flushed. Axed.”

“Okay, okay. I get the picture. But what on earth for?”

“Search me. It was a usual day up until mid morning. I was printing out the schedules for Orgy and while Instant Messaging my friend that works for that promoter on the East Coast. You know, the guy who said he could set us up with those Van Halen tickets? Anyway, that’s when the boss called me into his office and gave me the ol’ heave-ho.”

“That’s terrible. Did he give you any reasons for letting you go?”

“That’s where it gets interesting. He had a printout on his desk listing all my computer activity for the past seven days. Seems he had one of those programs installed that tracks everything one does on a computer.”

“Wow! Talk about Big Brother.”

“Uh, uh. Anyway, he showed me everything I’ve done during the past week. Like looking up the new schedules for Pet Shop Boys and Gene Pitney on Monday. Checking out additional Madonna dates on Tuesday. Looking for Steve Kimock Band, My Chemical Romance and Jay Farrar on Wednesday.”

“And looking up the latest on Dirty Americans and Brides Of Destruction on Thursday and Friday? Sounds like you’re on the ball. What did your boss say?”

“Say? What didn’t he say? He said that, according to the report, I’ve done nothing but look up tour dates on the company’s time. He said instead of preparing spreadsheets on my computer, or using the computer to create word processing documents and add up invoices, I was spending all my time looking at the schedules for bands and artists like Ill Nino, John Mayer and moe. Then he had security march me out the door.”

“Let me get this straight. Your boss hauls you into his office, says you should be using your computer for crunching numbers and preparing documents instead of looking up dates for Robert Earl Keen, Aerosmith and 40 Below Summer? And then he fires you and orders security to expel you from the building? You’re right, dear. I’m shocked. In fact, I’m more than shocked. I’m… I’m… I’m speechless!”

“Hey! What did I tell you?”

“I mean, who would ever have thought that you could do something with a computer other than look up tour dates?”

“I know. Live and learn.”