“There I was at the drive-thru window, looking at the menu and trying to decide which tickets to buy.”

“Like the #1 that comes with The Allman Brothers Band, the #2 that combines Grant Lee Phillips with John Doe, or the supersized special that includes Dashboard Confessional, Thrice and ?”

“Exactly. Anyway, there I was, trying to decide whether we wanted tickets for Simon & Garfunkel, or tickets for Clutch and Nelly Furtado, when I heard a rattle under the car seat.”


“Yeah. I reached under and pulled out an old empty bottle of Pepsi.”

“The cola Britney Spears used to endorse?”

“That’s the one. So, I dusted off the bottle, and suddenly, the car was filled with smoke, and when it cleared, there was Britney sitting in the passenger seat. At least, I thought it was Britney.”

“You mean, it wasn’t?”

“Nope. I was just about to ask for her autograph when she told me that she wasn’t Britney. Instead, she said that she was the Genie of the Pepsi Bottle, and that she could grant me one wish.”

“That’s amazing! What did you wish for? I know, I’ll bet you wished for those Linda Ronstadt tickets you’ve had your eyes on.”

“That did cross my mind.”

“Or those tickets for John Mayer and Way Out West. I’ve seen that look on your face every time we walk by the Ticketmaster display window.”

“I thought about those as well, but before I could answer, the Genie told me that I had to make a choice.”

“A choice? What do you mean?”

“She said I could have any tickets I want, including Flash Cadillac, Bob Dylan and The Dead. Or, I could have immortality and everlasting youth.”

“Gosh, that’s a tough decision. If you picked the first one, you’d see a lot of great shows, but you’d eventually grow old and gray.”

“I know.”

“But if you picked immortality and everlasting youth, you could see concerts, like Josh Kelley and Vince Gill, for the rest of your life.”

“Which would be forever.”

“And that’s a long time. Gee, you could see bands that aren’t even bands yet. So, which did you choose?”

“I carefully considered each choice – all the tickets I want, including Branford Marsalis, The Derek Trucks Band and Marc Anthony – or youth and immortality. And you know what? When I thought it all out, I realized that the proposition was strictly a no-brainer. I picked eternal youth and the chance to live forever.”


“Just kidding, my dear, just kidding. Here, take a look at this.”

“Wow! Tickets for Rush, Eagles and Cher, and… and… Is that a pair of tickets for Van Halen? Oh, honey, I’m sorry I even doubted you. You always make the right decision.”

“Don’t I? And to think some people would have gone for the immortality.”

“I know. It’s a scary world, isn’t it?”