“Hello, Sheila. Frank just called me. He said he can’t make it to the Sting concert. I don’t want to go alone. What am I going to do?”

“How about Tom?”

“Tom’s an idiot.”

“Oh? How so?”

“You know that Crosby, Stills & Nash concert he took me to last week? Tom kept yelling out for ‘Southern Man.’ I mean, talk about being embarrassed.”

“Then what about Dick?”

“Don’t remind me about Dick. We went to see Phil Collins together. Right after he insisted on chowing down at Taco Bell. Phil ended up dedicating ‘Something In The Air Tonight,” to Dick. Gosh, my face was sooo red.”


“Don’t talk to me about Harry, Sheila. We had backstage passes for Jessica Simpson, and he walked right up to her after the show and asked how her father, OJ, was getting along. I was mortified.”

“Sounds like you’ve had your share of man problems, Fran.”

“Tell me about it, Sheila. I went to see KISS with Sherman and he brought a banner reading ‘Ace Rules.’ I went with Bill to see Boston, and he kept yelling at Tom Scholz to ‘hurry up’ and get his ‘rear in gear.’ I’m telling you, Sheila, men can be so embarrassing. They absolutely know nothing about music, but they insist they know everything.”

“Ain’t that the truth? So, what are you going to do about the Sting concert?”

“I don’t know, Sheila. Mike has to work late, Jim passed away last week and Rick has to do his community service. Men! Umph! Sometimes I think we’d be better off without them.”

“But surely there must be someone who’s free to go to the show with you.”

“I wish, but every man I have yet to date is either busy, indisposed or dead. And every man I have dated is a walking basket case when it comes to music. No, I’m afraid I’m going to have to see Sting solo. That or stay home.”

“What about Sam?”

“Sam? You got to be kidding.”

“What’s wrong with Sam, Fran? After all, he is your husband.”

“Yeah, I know he’s my husband, Sheila. But going to the show with Sam just wouldn’t work out.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Because if I go to show with Sam, who is going to stay home and watch the kids?”