And as everyone knows, numbers don’t lie. The facts speak for themselves, they’re as plain as the nose on your face and as clear as day.

We’re talking, of course, about the recent survey indicating that the majority of today’s young adults are abstaining from sex while looking at tour dates on

According to the Ronald Jeremy Institute for Sexual Behavior, over 75 percent of all young adults have abstained from sex while looking at the Mindy Smith schedule, 81 percent while eyeballing the listings for Al Jarreau and L.A. Guns and over 97.4 percent while looking at co-headlines, such as the Chicago / Earth, Wind & Fire tour. You can’t argue with numbers like that.

But there’s more to this survey than just sex.

For example, over 63 percent of those surveyed claimed that they did not commit one major criminal act while looking up the dates for Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, and of the remaining 37 percent, 27 percent refrained from embezzling from their employers while checking out the Jars Of Clay schedule; 85 percent refused to participate in drive-by shootings as they looked at The Allman Brothers Band listing and an overwhelming 98.9 percent absolutely refused to rob banks, pass bad checks or steal someone’s identity while signing up for auto-notify for George Strait, Wolfpac and Jimmy Sturr And His Orchestra. Amazed? We don’t blame you.

However, the recent survey only confirms what we’ve believed to be true for a number of years if not more. From our own experience, we’ve come to believe that users are less likely to commit acts of fraud, insider trading, kidnapping, treason, flashing and jaywalking while they’re looking at tour schedules, regardless if the schedules are just a few dates for a regional act such as the east coast’s Rock Kandy, or the complete listings for international touring bands such as Fleetwood Mac and Yes.

Like all survey results, the recent stats are only numbers, but why buck a trend? The more time you spend looking at tour dates on, the less likely you are to commit acts of felonious intent and moral depravity. You no longer need to fear that you will become a threat to society if you spend all your time on our Web site looking at dates for artists such as Shania Twain and bands like Anthrax, Ill Nino and Van Halen. You’ll be building a better tomorrow, a stronger America and a safe and sound world of the future.

Of course, it kind of makes you wonder about what the people who aren’t looking at this Web site are doing at this very moment. Hmmm… Perhaps somebody should call the police. After all, it’s better to be safe than sorry.