Tours de Farce: Q&A
If Detroit can build an electric hybrid automobile, why can’t you find a free parking space at a Jimmy Buffett concert? If Global Positioning Satellites can pinpoint your position anywhere at anytime, why can’t Axle Rose finish Chinese Democracy?
These are the questions that no one dares to ask. Questions like, if the United States can wage a pre-emptive war against a tin-plated despot, why can’t Julio Iglesias play your local high school gymnasium? For all of the marvels of the 21st century, why can’t you get what you want from today’s concert scene?
Sure, some will accuse us of mixing non-sequiturs, others that we’re spouting random associations, but why can’t CBS News recognize MS Word documents yet fans flock to shows by Gov’t Mule, which has no mule and is certainly not part of the government? The concert-going public deserves some answers.
And we’re going to give them to you. Starting sometime in the future, maybe next week, maybe next month or next year, we’re going to dig deeply behind the scenes of shows by bands such as GWAR and Better Than Ezra to bring you the answers you deserve. Maybe some answers won’t fit the questions, perhaps some answers won’t even have questions, but if you want answers, Pollstar.com is the place to be.
Of course, some answers will be more difficult to swallow than others. Answers such as “Yes!” “No!” and “Ask again later!” are filled with ambiguity and nuance. However, we will do the utmost to make sure all questions are answered and all answers are questioned.
Ah, answers! Answers to the important questions, like if God created the universe in six days, why can’t Paul McCartney stop dilly-dallying and announce his tour? These are the questions we will answer in the future.
Well, maybe not that last question. Perhaps there are some things best left to faith.