Tours de Farce: The Great Depression
But it doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to drag your feet, hang your shoulders and mumble under your breath about how you hate Mondays. Oh, no. For Mondays can be wonderful days. Days of joy and fun. A day to jump out of bed, put on your best smile, open the door and yell, “HELLO MONDAY, YOU BIG, BEAUTIFUL, LOVELY DAY!”
It’s easy. All you have to do is think about the tours.
For example, feeling a bit down because your boss is waiting for your arrival so that he may chew you out for botching the Pensky account? Not to worry. Just keep the new schedule for Better Than Ezra foremost in your mind, and the boss’ nasty words, threats, and physical abuse will slide off of you like watermelon rinds off of Gallagher. Trust us.
Or let’s say that you’ve got that big exam today, but instead of studying over the weekend, you spent the last 48 hours downloading every song ever recorded by the Beastie Boys, David Byrne and the Eagles off of Kazaa. Never fear. All you need do is remember that Avril Lavigne is playing Fresno on November 21 and the answers to that test will be as apparent as the nose on Bob Dylan’s face. Or Michael Jackson’s if this was 1977. You can take that to the bank.
It’s a proven fact that thinking about tour dates, such as the new ones for Dave Koz & Friends Smooth Jazz Christmas, can eliminate all the anxiety, fear, worry and angst that faces you each and every Monday morning. So chase those blues away with the list of shows for Brian Kennedy, the appearance calendar for Gomez and the coast-to-coast routing for The Faint. Go ahead. Whistle! Sing! Dance! Mondays no longer scare you when you’re neck deep in tour dates from Pollstar.com!
Unless, of course, you work for CBS News, for you’re already neck deep in something. And it sure ain’t tour dates.