And there’s no one who understands that old saw better than a employee. For no sooner had our workers gotten used to the Leap Year adjustment in our summer schedule, that they had to resynchronize their biological clocks in order to remain in harmony with our Fall schedule.

For example, our Fall schedule dictates that we post schedules for artists such as Chick Corea and Dianne Reeves every Monday, Wednesday and Friday between the hours of 9:00 am and 1:00 pm, Central Time. Easy enough? One would think so. However, some of our workers have confused those times with our Summer schedule, which called for band schedules for acts like The Del Vikings and Van Halen to be posted on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays between 9:05 am and 1:10 pm, Eastern Time. Clearly, these employees must remember that there’s no time like the present.

Then there’s the loading dock crew, which, by the old Summer schedule, unloaded the trucks delivering dates for all international tours, like Sting and Elton John, on Tuesdays and Thursdays between the hours of 10:00 am and 4:00 pm, Greenwich Mean Time. However, they can’t quite cope with the new hours, which calls for tours such as the United Kingdom list of dates for Rod Stewart, or the Australian dates for the Eagles, to be unloaded between 7:00 am and 5:00 pm Togo Time on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Furthermore, their union representatives claim the old schedule was much safer and was responsible for fewer accidents. However, that claim has no basis in fact, and someone should point out to them that time heals all goons.

But the most confusion has taken place in our sales department, which, under the Summer schedule, took calls from managers for bands like Green Day and Dark Star Orchestra on Tuesdays and Thursdays between 7:30 am Pacific Time and 8:25 am, Mountain Time. According to our sales manager, the shift to the fall schedule has totally eliminated their milk and cookie breaks. Our response? All in moo time.

Yes, time can be a problem at What with Summer schedules, Fall schedules, different times, different zones, different folks and different strokes, it sure can be tough to keep it all straight. But we’re confident in our workers and we’re sure that, when all is said and done, they’ll come to realize time after time that they have plenty of time on their hands and that the times they are a changing. However, to help them adjust to the new time schedule we’ve given each and every member of our crew a brand new, Rolex wristwatch. Sure, we could have given them watches that are less expensive, but nothing’s too good for our employees.

Besides, this is our way of ensuring that our workers always have a good time.