Email from all over the world. Tons of email. Millions of bits and billions of bytes flood our mail servers each and every day. Mail like this one from Cindy in Cleveland who needs to know who’s supporting Velvet Revolver, or Billy in Salt Lake City who writes to ask about those Neil Diamond dates in the UK, and Sally from Miami who’s interested in finding out how much misery Rex Hobart & The Misery Boys can dish out in one evening. Yeah, we get a lot of mail.

And we wish we could answer each and every one of them. We wish we had the time to just sit down, crank up Eudora and answer Cindy with The Datsuns, tell Billy to look for Neil during the months of May and June, and Instant Message Sally that she can expect about 6.5 quarts per hour.

That is, we wish we could do that. But truth be told, there’s just not enough hours in a day to answer all of the 1.3 million messages that hit our desktops 24/7. So, we try to cover the important ones. Those of you who have written to us in the past and were lucky enough to receive the answers you deserved, you know what we’re talking about. And if not? Well, we may not send you an answer, but rest assured, your emails were read. And acted upon.

In fact, we’re answering a few emails as you read these words. Emails that you just can’t ignore. Emails that scream for attention and demand answers. Here, why don’t you check out the new dates for Rammstein and George Jones while we answer these very important emails? This will only take a few minutes. Okay? Good.

Hmmm… This first email is a tough one. Just how much Viagra do we want to order today?