For example, 24 percent of those voting in the blue states appear to be solid Fishbone fans, while 39 percent of voters in the red states are firmly backing Dokken and Agnostic Front. However, when you add the formerly undecided voters in Missouri, Arizona and Wisconsin, it appears that voters were evenly split between Celine Dion and Slayer. Surprised? So were we.

However, that wasn’t nearly as surprising as the record number of voters in Alabama, Kentucky and Arkansas, which, according to exit polls, 75 percent appear to back strong European tours such as the spring routing for Destiny’s Child, while 57 percent chose Neil Diamond’s United Kingdom string of dates scheduled for May and June. Needless to say, we haven’t seen numbers like that since Joe Cocker’s 1982 romp through Germany, Denmark and Norway.

But yesterday’s election is more than numbers and who got the most votes. Issues took the main stage in several states, including Michigan, Connecticut and Delaware, where, as expected, voters turned out in record droves to pass initiatives demanding that more Classic Rock radio stations play Lynyrd Skynyrd and Van Halen. However, the big surprise was in Oregon where voters overwhelming passed Proposition 210 thereby legalizing involuntary euthanasia for all bands and artists that haven’t charted in the top 100 for over twenty years.

Of course, some results were to be expected. Conservatives voted along traditional lines to lower ticket service charges for those with an annual income of $500,000 or more, while liberals voted for bigger concerts as well as increased government ticket assistance for those making less than $15,000 annually. However, what impact, if any, these results will have on Paul Revere & The Raiders, Adrian Legg and B-Side Players remains to be seen. On the other hand, it is safe to say that the Ashlee Simpson / SNL “October Surprise,” failed to swing voters in the swing states.

What does it all mean? While we’re still crunching the numbers, we can say that yesterday’s election was one for the record books. An election based on fear, hope, hesitation and strength with just a wee bit of acid reflux thrown in to make it interesting. It was the mother of all elections. An eclectic election. It was Metallica, Cher, Yanni and Tom Waits all rolled into one. And after months of campaigning, speeches, promises and mudslinging, Americans have made a decision, and Campaign 2004 is finally over.

Now, who has the aspirin?