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Tours de Farce: Oh, Daddy!
Oh, Daddy! You gave me a concert schedule? I can’t wait to open it up and see who it’s for! Maybe it’s an itinerary for the Eagles. Or perhaps it’s a routing for Ben Folds or Ian Anderson. Oh, Daddy, can I open it up now? Can I, Daddy? Can I? Please?
Ever since Christmas began, concert schedules have been THE gift of choice when you want to show someone you really care.
Oh, Daddy! I’m so excited! I always wanted a concert schedule for Christmas. It’s… It’s…
However, did you know that most concert schedules are shipped disassembled from the factory to retail? In fact, only concert itineraries from Pollstar.com come fully assembled.
It’s all in pieces! Oh, Daddy, can you put it together now? Can you, Daddy? Please? Oh, pretty please??
No matter if it’s a list of Canadian dates for Hilary Duff, European dates for Anastacia or shows scheduled right here in the good ol’ USA for Cher, Collective Soul and David Olney, every concert itinerary purchased from Pollstar.com is good to go right out of the box.
I don’t think it goes together that way, Daddy. You’re trying to fit the venues into the dates followed by the cities, when I think it’s the other way around.
You won’t spend hour after hour of excruciating frustration, humiliation and pain come Christmas morning trying to put together a concert routing, say, for Ladysmith Black Mambazo or Willie Nelson, from Pollstar.com. All you need do is open up one of our special holiday boxes to enjoy hours and hours of itinerary fun.
No, Daddy. I think part A is supposed to fit into part C. Then you insert part E into the slot on part K.
This Christmas, give the greatest, the most expensive gift money can buy. Give a fully assembled concert itinerary from Pollstar.com!
Wait a minute, Daddy. Part Y goes into part Z, and part Q fits into Jay-Z, and… and… Why are you drinking so much eggnog, Daddy? You know how that makes you stumble around and slur your words.
It’s the gift that millions are buying all over the world.
I don’t think you can put that together if you drink too much eggnog, Daddy. Daddy?
Buy a fully assembled concert itinerary from Pollstar.com.
Oh, no, Daddy, you put it together backwards and mixed up the dates for Bryan Adams with the ones for Ryan Adams. Now I’ll never have any fun. And… And… Daddy? You spilled your eggnog all over the carpet. Are you feeling all right?
Your family will love you for it.
Oh, Daddy, if only you had bought my gift pre-assembled from Pollstar.com, I would already have a schedule to play with, and you wouldn’t be passed out between the Christmas tree and the couch.
Make this Christmas a Pollstar.com Christmas! Order a special, fully assembled tour schedule today!
Daddy? Daddy? Wake up, Daddy. Please?
Batteries not included.