It’s not the groupies. Oh, sure, we’ve had our share of camp followers. Men and women who think that by hanging out with us as we plug in dates for Trout Fishing In America or Blondie, that they’ll catch a glimpse of the glitz that is the 24 hour, non-stop glamourama otherwise known as the concert data industry. They hang by our back door hoping to meet the person who compiled the dates for Citizen Cope, and they claim to be the first cousin twice removed of the employee who added the new listings for Rod Stewart. But they don’t bother us.

Nor is it the drive-by shootings and kidnappings inherent in an industry which rewards calendar-numeric achievement. As you can probably guess, having the ability to chronologically sort the show dates for Austin Lounge Lizards or punch up the list of support acts for Sevendust makes one a pretty attractive target for all the gangbangers, wise guys and terrorists looking for fame and glory by taking out the leader of third-party concert technology. But electrified fences, land mines along the perimeter and bloodthirsty Chihuahuas patrolling the outer grounds keep us safe and secure. No problem there.

And it’s not the constant interruptions when artists such as Hilary Duff or Lou Reed drop by to ask for free advice as to whether they should play New York before Los Angeles, or whether or not they should play two or three nights in London or Paris. No, rock stars and famous bands don’t cause much of a problem when they suddenly show up at our door, if only because all of our furniture is certified unbreakable and our carpets are guaranteed stain-proof. No problemo.

To tell you the truth, there aren’t many real problems with this job. We gather dates, like the new ones for David Bromberg and Judas Priest, and then we post them on the Internet. Of course, we still have to put up with nosebleeds, goiters and the open sores that go with the territory, but we’ve learned to live with those occupational hazards. In fact, when you get right down to it, there are very few problems involved with compiling and maintaining the largest concert database known to man. Most problems aren’t really problems at

Except for one.

You see, we’re getting pretty sick and tired of that Alex Trebek guy from Jeopardy calling us and asking for tougher answers to questions for his show’s contestants. But from the sound of things, it looks like we won’t be hearing from him for a while. Hmmm… Does anybody still watch that show?