Yes, the rumors are true! As reported in all the major movie trades such as Variety and all those other mags devoted to the goings on of Tinsel Town, the story is headed to the big screen. Yup! They’re going to put us in the movies and all we have to do is post dates naturally.

And all of us who toil away the days on this most photogenic of all Web sites processing schedules for acts like Tower Of Power and Hank III are very excited. Just when we thought that we had acquired all that life has to offer, that we had already climbed the highest mountain and swam the deepest river by managing the largest third-party concert database ever devised by man, we’re given a chance to rise even higher. We’re going to be celluloid heroes!

Details are sketchy, but the movie will cover all the pivotal moments in our company’s history. From that cold, rainy day in 1931 when our founder, Festus Pollstar, found himself in the Fresno County lock-up, broke, hungry, and suffering from wood alcohol withdrawal, and came up with the idea of an Internet Web site that would one day catalog all the show dates for Ani DiFranco, The Agony Scene and Yanni, to the emergence of the sprawling, 25,000 acre compound that we call home, The Story will document every major event that has occurred within our barb-wire topped walls for the past 70-some years. Make no mistake about it. This WILL be the film of the decade. The movie of the millennium!

Just think of it! Us! Up there on that big screen, slamming in dates for Lee Rocker, entering schedules for T.G. Sheppard and Mudvayne, with special effects provided by George Lucas’ Industrial Light & Magic, and a voice over narration by none other than James Earl Jones. Mark our words, this movie is going to be The Passion, Titanic and Meet The Fockers all rolled into one!

We still have to work out some of the finer points regarding the filming of The Story, but we can tell you that it has already been green-lighted for an early 2006 release, and has been budgeted for more than it cost to shoot Heaven’s Gate, Gigli and Howard The Duck, combined. Plus, all of Hollywood’s A list of actors and actresses have already expressed a desire to appear in the film. Dustin Hoffman wants a part entering Good Charlotte data, Julia Roberts wants the role of chief researcher for the Motley Crue tour and Ben Affleck wants his name somewhere in the credits. This is going to be the biggest, star-studded extravaganza since… since… since Can’t Stop The Music!

Yeah, all of Hollywood is buzzing about The Story. And, even though we don’t have a director, nor do we have many of the other essentials needed to create a cinematic masterpiece, such as caterers, limousines, and individual dressing-room trailers, there’s already talk of sweeping the Academy Awards come 2006. Imagine that! and Oscar! It will change entertainment as we know it.

Of course, we really don’t expect our movie to win an Oscar. After all, when you get right down to it, The Story will be about people compiling dates for Further Seems Forever, 36 Crazy Fists and Bobby Vee & The Vees. It will be about databases, logical logarithms, train wrecks and violent explosions. Hardly the stuff that brings home the big prize on Oscar night. So we’re not believing our own hype when we mention Oscar.

The Golden Globes, however…