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Tours de Farce: Click City
For example, there was a time when I spent hours trying to figure out where Bob Dylan was playing. I’d read Rolling Stone, visit fortunetellers and listen to local radio stations. Sometimes it would take days, if not weeks, to figure out where the Bard of Minnesota was playing. But not anymore.
Same thing with trying to determine where Ozzfest was taking place. Hanging out at heavy metal bars, and making countless phone calls to Sharon. Yeah, Ozzfest was a real hassle to track. But not anymore.
That’s because there was a time when concert info, like the schedules for Yngwie Malmsteen, The Strawbs and Electric Six were mere rumors in the wind, echoes of whispers pertaining to what might be and where it might happen. Nothing firm, nothing definite, just conjecture and innuendo overheard via the grapevine of fandom. That’s how it used to be.
But now there’s the World Wide Web, and concert information for bands like The Black Crowes and The Mars Volta is only a click away. You want know where The Beach Boys are playing this summer? Just click here. Want to know where Kelly Clarkson is appearing this Wednesday? Click here. Or maybe you want all the current dates for the Dave Matthews Band. Just… Well, you know what to do.
Information at your fingertips. That’s what the WWW is all about. Forget radio, toss your TV into the Dumpster and cancel your subscription to your local newspaper. The World Wide Web is where it’s at, pumping out dates for Jimmy Buffett, Kenny G and Jack Johnson, 24/7. What could be easier?
Of course, I still remember what it was like before the emergence of the Web. A time of darkness and ignorance. A time, say, when dates for the Eagles or Elton John were on a need to know basis. A time when the routing for Duran Duran was kept sealed in a lead-lined vault buried deep beneath the Rocky Mountains. A time when only those in the know knew anything worth knowing about those acts worth knowing about. It was definitely the worst of times.
But all that changed with the World Wide Web. Now I know where everyone is playing all of the time. Want to know about Dream Theater’s touring plans? Just click here. Elvis Costello? Click and you shall see. Michael Bolton? Doves? Sting? Papa Roach? Click! Click Click! Click! Isn’t life wonderful?
However, there is one small problem with the Web, a slight imperfection in the otherwise perfect diamond of knowledge and enlightenment. Sure, I can ascertain the concert plans for Danu, REO Speedwagon and Audioslave, as well as download the routings for Marc Broussard and George “Goober” Lindsey. In fact, there isn’t a single concert tour that isn’t on the Net. However, that’s not the problem.
The problem is, with all the tour information that’s available on the Web, I’m so busy reading every single listing, that I never have time to go to a show. Life sure can be complicated. Hmmm… Maybe I should look into WiFi.