“Coming right up. Say, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in here before.”

“Then allow me to introduce myself. Randolph Von Rowlfing. Medium, vampire hunter and exorcist.”

“Exorcist, eh? We don’t get too many of them in here.”

“I should say not. The men and women specializing in the kind of exorcism work I do make up a rare breed, indeed. I’m an exorcist for the concert industry.”

“You don’t say.”

“But I do say, my good man. Shows, venues, ticket kiosks, you name it, you never know where a pesky little demon might pop up. This morning alone, I exorcised two tour buses, one nightclub and three amphitheatres.

“Sounds like you’re pretty busy.”

“That’s just my retainer work for Clear Channel. They have me on call 24/7. After all, there’s a lot of evil out there.”

“So, what brings you around these parts?”

“Well, this morning I had to exorcise a couple of demons from one of your local nightclubs before Fall Out Boy plays their gig there. Then I had to cast out a couple of mischievous imps inhabiting the fast food concession at the sports arena. Guess they gave last night’s U2 crowd a fright. And after I leave here, I’m going to make a follow up call on Motley Crue.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s up with the Crue?”

“I exorcised a couple of spirits from their stage costumes right before they started their reunion tour. Demons love Spandex. Now I just have to make sure the little devils didn’t come back. It’s all part of the guarantee.”

“So, tell me. What was your biggest job?”

“Oh, that’s easy. That would be a promoter I worked on last week. He was possessed by ten different demons.”

“Really?”

“Uh, uh. Oh, he was a mess. His head was doing a 360 while he was trying to plan the advertising for an Anger Management Tour date starring Eminem and 50 Cent that he had just booked. Plus, he was spewing some obnoxious bile that looked like pea soup while he was signing the contract to bring Jewel to town. And if that wasn’t enough, he was shouting the most vile and evil obscenities that you’ve ever heard. Downright disgusting.”

“Whoa! Head spinning around, green bile and the most evil obscenities that anyone has ever heard? That’s incredible! That had to be one monster of an exorcism.”

“Ah, that ain’t nothing.”

“It’s not?”

“Heck no. You should have seen him before the exorcism.”