In fact, I love technology as much as I love music. It’s not enough to listen to the latest by Super Furry Animals or The Kills. Instead, I have to listen to their new songs on the latest gadgets available. New music + new technology = happy me. That’s my theory of musictivity.

But it’s not that easy. What with science moving at warp speed, sometimes it’s hard to keep up with the latest and greatest that technology has to offer. I mean, it’s tough enough to stay current with the Pixies, Willie Nelson and Pat Benatar, but to stay on top of new music AND new technology? Whoa, Nelly!

For example, I was really impressed with those MP3 players when they first hit the stores five years ago. However, none of the devices at that time had nearly enough memory for all my songs. So I waited.

And sure enough, new players came out. Players that were physically smaller yet carried more memory. This is fantastic, I remember thinking to myself. These players might be just the thing for taking my music with me. Like taking Ted Nugent with me when I go to the clinic for my anti-liberal shots, or taking my William Shatner box set with me when I go to my goiter support group. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

But I froze before I even made it to the electronics store. I mean, if it only took a few months for smaller yet bigger players to appear, I couldn’t help but think what the choice would be like after a few more months. That’s right. I waited some more.

And then the iPod came out. Massive storage, smaller size. I was in heaven! Or so I thought. But faster than I could whip out a credit card and add to my already insurmountable debt, I heard rumors that there would be new iPods that would be smaller, faster and maybe even cheaper than the ones in the store. iPods that could hold my entire CD collection, including Anthrax, Judas Priest and my Captain Kangaroo anthology. So I waited some more.

And it looks as if all that waiting is about to pay off. I mean, in five short years we’ve gone from personal players to players that hold thousands upon thousands of tunes. What’s more, I’ve had my eye on a combination cell phone / PDA / spleen disseminator / MP3 player that’s on sale down at my local Best Buy, a device that can truly handle everything I can throw at it, including my entire phone list, my underwear inventory records and all my music, from my Alvin and The Chipmunks CDs to the latest by Green Day. Finally! It’s time to join the digital revolution!

Well, maybe not.

You see, I just read about how scientists are working on a way to implant a microchip directly into the front cerebral lobe of the brain. What’s more, it’s only going to be about 2, maybe 2.5 inches wide and come with an “Intel Inside” baseball cap. Ooh… I get tingly just thinking about it.

Sigh… I guess I’m going to have to wait some more.