“Did you stop and buy those tickets for that John Mellencamp / John Fogerty concert like I asked you, Horace?”

“I sure did. Also those extra tickets for Judas Priest for when your mother comes to visit. And you won’t believe what happened to me after I left the Ticketmaster.”

“Oh? What happened after – Uh? Why… You’re all wet!”

“That’s because the dam up on Promoter’s Ridge burst.”

“What? The dam?”

“You should have seen it, Zelda. A wall of water came rushing down from the ridge. It roared down Roadie Ravine, flooded out Groupie Gulch, and then headed straight for the Ticketmaster. I thought I was a goner.”

“I’ll bet. What did you do?”

“The water hit right after I walked out of the Ticketmaster. There I was, looking at their summer swimsuit ticket catalog edition. I was ogling the June layout. You know, that controversial shot we read about in People? The one where Cindy Crawford is suggestively touching the front-row tickets for Green Day? Anyway, that’s when it hit me. A 20-foot high wall of water picked me up and carried me downstream.”

“That’s terrible! What did you do?”

“I did the only thing I could do, Zelda. After making sure our tickets were perfectly safe in my waterproof ticket pouch, I treaded water the best I could. Oh, it was terrible. After the flood hit the Ticketmaster, there were tickets all over the place. Single seats for Brian Wilson, lawn seats for Elvis Costello. Nosebleed seats for the Eagles. Meanwhile, the water was rising, carrying me towards Scalper’s Falls. My whole life flashed before me.”

“I’ll bet. Then what happened?”

“Well, there I was. Flailing around in the water, trying to stay afloat, but the rushing waters were too much for me. I went down one time, but bobbed back to the top. Then, I went down a second time, and barely managed to swim back up to the surface. Then, when it looked like I was going down for a third and final time…”

“Yes? What happened?”

“That’s when I saw Him.”

“What? Him?”

“That’s right, Zelda. I saw Him as clearly as I see you now. He was standing on top of the water while tickets for The Allman Brothers Band and Coldplay swirled at his feet. I didn’t believe it. I thought I was seeing things.”

“But it was real?”

“As real as that Bob Dylan / Willie Nelson show we’re going to next month. He reached down and grabbed my hand. Then he looked deep into my eyes and said…”

“Yes? Yes? Go on.”

“He asked me if I ‘believed.'”

“Well? What did you tell him?”

“I shouted out, ‘Yes! Oh, yes! I believe! I do believe!'”

“And?”

“And then I felt myself rising up out of the water. And, before I knew it, I was standing on the surface. Just like Him.”

“That’s incredible! I don’t believe it.”

“Believe it, Zelda. Then, with Him still holding my hand, the two of us walked across the water to higher ground. I was saved. My faith, my belief in Him, saved me. It was a miracle!”

“You’re right, Horace, that is an incredible story! But are you sure it was… Well, you know Him?”

“As sure as I’m standing here, Zelda.”

“But U2 is playing in Seattle tonight. How can Bono be in two places at once?”

“I dunno. Maybe that’s why they call it ‘faith,’ Zelda. That’s why they call it ‘faith.”