While millions of words have been written ad nauseum about how concert schedules, such as the listings for Paul McCartney and The Wallflowers, arrive at our facilities via air, rail and sea, as well as countless books depicting our data gathering efforts, and how we harvest tour dates from only the freshest, most robust itinerary plants to be grown high up on the top of Mt. Fresno, virtually nothing has been penned as to how concert schedules move from our servers to your very own desktop.

Oh, sure, several business-based, publications, including Forbes, Wall Street Journal and Hustler, have tried to report on how show schedules, like the latest postings for Avril Lavigne and Duran Duran, are sent out to our affiliates in all concert markets great and small, and how locally-owned Pollstar.com franchises work day and night to make sure that all concert routings adhere with local community standards. But after a few days examining our broadband pipelines, our fiber optics and our catapults, every single publication and media outlet, including 60 Minutes, Dateline and Hannity & The Other Guy, have eventually shied away from reporting on what takes place behind the scenes of the world’s largest third-party concert database.

Of course, tour date delivery isn’t a pretty picture, and we’ve often wondered if those major media bastions of truth and justice can adequately portray how we deliver tour dates to you, the Pollstar.com consumer. After all, graphic depictions of sweatshops filled with thousands of orphans forced to chronologically sort the dates for Mark Farner and The Exies can hardly be considered ready-for-prime-time fare in most markets. Neither are the animal testing labs where countless dolphins, whales and basset hounds are forced, often at gunpoint, to read the schedules for Finch and Gary Lewis & The Playboys, as technicians in white smocks diligently study their vital signs in an attempt to make sure that every single itinerary published on this Web site is at least 85 percent safe for human consumption. Maybe the media isn’t quite ready to show you what lies behind the Pollstar.com curtain.

That’s why we’ve decided to take it upon ourselves to toot our own horn, and show you what transpires between the moment one of our operators pushes the SEND button and you see the dates for Neil Diamond and Bruce Springsteen appear on your screen. But we gotta warn you, we’re not going to hold anything back.

That’s because we want to show you the blood, the violence, the nudity and the wardrobe malfunctions that come with the territory. We want to show you the tour-date truck drivers wired to the gills as they drive 24/7 to deliver the schedule for Robert Plant to your monitor. We want to show you the encounters in dark alleys where people of questionable character routinely swap Mudvayne dates for cash on the black market. We want to show you how certain couriers, often referred to in the business as itinerary mules, hide the schedules for Black Maria, Throwdown and Zao in various bodily orifices as they cross international borders to deliver dates to culturally deprived concert fans located throughout the Canadian Commonwealth. Yeah, we want to show you the big picture. We want to show you the entire enchilada. We want to show you everything. What’s more. We want to show you everything, NOW!

That is, as soon as our lawyers clear everything for publication. You might want to grab a seat. This could take awhile.