Tours de Farce: Psychobabble
And, as a psychiatrist, I know all about the problems caused by concerts.
For instance, I know how the id drives one to want all, like tickets for Anne Murray and 311. Oh, the id’s a selfish one, it is. With the id it’s just gimme, gimme, gimme, with no consideration for other people’s wants or needs. Kind of like the IRS on steroids.
Then there’s the ego. Rarely a day goes by when I see a problem that isn’t involved with the ego. The ego is that voice inside of you that says you can’t have it all, that there might be some problems if you spend the rent money on Coldplay tickets, or if you use your kid’s prescription medicine money to buy tickets for The Rolling Stones or Maroon 5. The ego is no fun at all, for it’s always bringing up the cause and effect. You know, like what might happen if you skip work to see Loggins & Messina. Damn ego.
And if it wasn’t bad enough that the ego acts like the voice of reality, telling you that you can’t spend the grocery money on tickets for Kelly Clarkson or The White Stripes, there’s the blasted superego. You see, the superego is all about morality. It tells you that it would be morally wrong to call your wife, tell her you have to work late at the office, and then take her best friend to see U2. That’s right. The superego is that same sucker that says you really shouldn’t auction one of your kid’s kidney’s on eBay to raise money to purchase tickets for Oasis or Dave Matthews Band. The superego is like that cartoon character that looks like an angel. You know the one. The one that sits on a person’s shoulder and says, “Bad! Bad! Bad!” Yeah, superegos can be such a pain.
And as a psychiatrist, I know all about that stuff. I know about wanting tickets for all the shows, like Jimmy Buffett and Liz Phair. I know what it’s like to have to deal with the practical side of life, and that a person must face reality. That you can’t skip on meals in order to buy Avril Lavigne tickets, or what may happen if you dip into the toilet paper budget so that you might buy tickets for Elvis Costello or The Offspring. And I know all about that inner voice inside one’s head saying that it would be wrong to go out on the streets and accost total strangers, shaking them down for their credit cards, money and spare change, anything that can be used to purchase tickets for Neil Diamond, Ja Rule and David Gray. Yeah, the voice that says, “No! Don’t do it. It’s wrong!” But all the id can think of is John Mellencamp, Depeche Mode and Styx, while the ego is saying that it’s not practical to see so many shows, and the superego is telling you that it’s wrong to steal someone’s money, that it’s wrong to hurt someone, that it’s wrong to kill, kill and kill!
And then there are those people who have some real problems…