Tours de Farce: Futurerama
Sure you do. That’s when people talked of flying cars, housecleaning robots and entire apartment buildings that would rise up above the clouds therefore ensuring perfect weather for another perfect day. Yeah, those were the days. The days when the future was hip.
Of course, the future didn’t turn out the way it was supposed to. Our cars are still landlocked, our robots nothing more than curious novelties and our apartments can’t control the weather. To paraphrase Mr. Rumsfeld, sometimes you live in the future you end up with, not the one you would like to have.
But wouldn’t it have been glorious to have the future we were supposed to live in? A future where R.E.M. might do a special gig on the Moon, or Ben Harper and Brian Wilson might headline a concert on Mars? A future where you wouldn’t have to worry about parking when you go to see U2? Instead, you would push a button on your automobile causing it to fold up into a handy briefcase that you carry with you as you step onto the moving sidewalk that delivers you to your seat. Now that’s a future to be proud of, a futuristic future that we can all look forward to.
But, alas, it wasn’t meant to be. That’s why we’re dedicated to thinking about the future. Sure, we may not have flying cars, but we have the upcoming dates for Juliana Hatfield. Our robots may not be too good at disposing our empty Guinness bottles, but they know how to work the auto-notify email machine whenever we add dates for Rodney Crowell and Dave Matthews Band. As to rising above nasty weather, well, we’re still working on that. Maybe tomorrow.
In short, Pollstar.com is dedicated to thinking about the future. Future tour dates, future concert events, future fun. A thriving, robust future with dates for Particle, Alter Bridge and Motley Crue. That’s our purpose in life, to think about where Elton John will play next month, where Jimmy Buffett might play next fall and where The Black Crowes might perform next year. We may have forgotten last week, and we might be totally clueless as to what we did yesterday, but when it comes to the future, we’re experts on predicting what might be. That’s why we’re unique. That’s why we’re different than all those other concert Web sites, for we think of nothing but the future.
For example, here we are on Monday and we’re already thinking about Friday. Friday at 5:00 p.m. to be exact. Now that’s a future worth contemplating.