In case you haven’t heard, a major label agreed to pay 10 million dollars to settle payola charges brought against it by the state of New York’s attorney general. During the AG’s investigation, it was revealed that radio station execs received cash, merchandise, even trips in exchange for playing the label’s music.

And this is wrong?

First of all, as everyone knows, the major record labels are the most humane, most generous of all corporate entities, and are known for their unending love of humanity almost as much as they are for supporting great artists and bands like Bruce Springsteen and Green Day. To deny any of the labels the opportunity to show their affection and gratitude towards any radio station program director who might be inclined to increase the number of “spins” a particular record might receive in exchange for, say, a plasma TV or a trip to Vegas, would be like denying Santa Claus his God-given right to spread joy and good cheer among the children of the world on Christmas Eve.

And what about the radio people who accepted the gifts? We all know that it’s bad manners not to accept a present, especially when the gift is in exchange for agreed upon services rendered. Using the Santa Clause analogy, radio station refusing to accept a gift from a record label for playing that label’s song would be like a child refusing his or her Christmas present even though the kid has been spent the entire year being nice rather than naughty. And, according to latest payola investigation, the radio stations have been very, very nice.

Of course, the major labels love playing Santa Claus. Almost as much as radio station executives love acting like children. However, there are some people who don’t like the generosity shown to radio station execs by the major recording labels who love and cherish them so. Some people think it’s wrong for a record label to pay a radio station for playing that label’s songs. Heck, some people even go as far as claiming that such a tradition is wrong because the airwaves belong to the public. That’s sooo 1960ish.

But if there’s one thing record labels love more than lavishing radio stations with gifts, it’s giving money away, and if the labels are not allowed to slide a few bucks towards their favorite radio executives, the recording labels will eventually end up drowning in cash. And we all know how dangerous it can be when record labels have more cash than they know what to do with.

Fortunately, we have a solution.

While there may be antiquated laws on the books preventing record labels from giving cash to radio stations in return for playing a label’s music, there are no such laws when it comes to concert itineraries. No matter if a record label wants the concert schedule for Paul McCartney put in our heavy rotation, or if a label wants the routing for U2 placed prominently on our home page, the generous men and women of the recording industry can pay us as much as they want, and they won’t break one single law. The labels will be happy because they’ll be able to continue giving money away, and the radio stations will be happy because they’ll be able to playing only good music without any thought of monetary compensation holding them back. Everybody wins.

Of course, with the labels giving us all the money that was originally marked for paying off radio stations, we’re going to be quite busy figuring out what to do with all that loot. But hey, nobody said solving the latest payola scandal would be easy.