Tours de Farce: What’s Up?
But that’s the way it goes in the tour date biz. People are always asking us about The Jim Rose Circus dates and whether the listing was released by Jim’s booking agent or manager. Then they ask us about the new shows listed for Yellowcard, and if the latest additions are “firm” or “tentative.” Of course, we always get the obligatory “did you wash your hands after handling the Motley Crue dates?” But that comes with the territory.
But that’s just scratching the surface. After we field questions about whether the Little Brother dates were shipped to us via FedEx, or if the schedule for My Chemical Romance arrived by way of email or snail mail, we always get one or two questions about the size of the shipping container for the
In fact, even while typesetting this column, we were hit with questions. We had a phone call asking us if the Daddy Yankee schedule was vetted by the promoters, if Bob Dylan’s listing was approved by the record label and whether or not Michael Buble’s itinerary is tentative pending approval from his mother. In fact, we often get more questions than we can answer, more inquiries than we can query and more curiosity than we can cure. However, the questions keep coming, 24/7.
Questions like, “Did the new routing for Nickel Creek arrive under police protection?” “Did the listing for System Of A Down arrive via air or sea?” “Were the new dates for John Berry given to us by illegal aliens?” If so, were the aliens from Vulcan, Ork, or the Klingon homeworld?” “Did they arrive by shuttle craft, flying saucer, or inter-dimensional, transwarp worm hole?” “Were the dates for Brad Paisley handed down to us by God during some kind of supernatural occurrence, accompanied by burning bushes, bombastic thunderclaps and fiery lights in the sky while an enormous, disembodied hand engraved the new schedules for Foo Fighters and Luis Miguel on our garden wall?” Yeah, we get those questions a lot.
But most of all, people are always asking us if we’re making it up as we go along.