Tours de Farce: Words To Live By
In fact, today has Monday written all over it. It’s wall-to-wall, coast-to-coast Adema to ZZ Top Monday, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
Surprised? We don’t blame you. After all, ever since 1931 when our founder, Festus Pollstar, launched this Web site amidst celebratory champagne pops, fireworks and random drive-by shootings, people have counted on this page for routings for such artists as Paul McCartney and Dolly Parton, and updates for bands like Coldplay, Disturbed and The White Stripes, all mixed in with a few words of hope. Maybe something like, “Today is the first day of the rest of your concert life,” or “Have a nice Ticketmaster day,” or “Ask not what Clear Channel can do for you, but what you can do for Clear Channel,” or some tripe like that.
But there’s still no getting around the fact that today is Monday. Forget about Opportunity never knocking twice, for it just slipped on your front door step, and the only knock you’ll hear today is when Opportunity’s lawyer serves you with a personal injury suit. Sure, we could say, “Cheer up! Have a peak at the latest dates for Twiztid,” but it would still be a day when the sun refuses to rise over the desolate dawn overshadowing the landscape of your soul. That’s what Mondays are all about.
Plus, not only is today Monday, but it’s also August 8, which means someone from the bank will be pounding on our door, saying that we’re seven days late with the mortgage. You wanna know how dumb bankers are? Every eighth-of-the-month like clockwork they send out a rep to demand payment, and, like clockwork, every eighth-of-the-month those reps keep disappearing. You would think they’d learn. Guess bankers have Mondays too.
But even though it’s Monday, we feel that you deserve some kind of motivational message that will lift your spirits, and give you that `ol get-up-and-go feeling for which you’re so desperate that you’ve read this far into this page. Something like, “Hope springs eternal,” or “What goes around, comes around,” or even “Might makes right.” Sure, on any other day, mumbling something like the preceding platitudes would probably work. But today is Monday, and we’re betting that it’s going to be Monday all dog-gone day. So the best we can do is give you the schedules for the Yellowcards and The Posies of the world, along with two simple words of advice…