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Tours de Farce: Pep Talk
This could be the most important day of your life. The day you read the schedules for Jason Mraz and Umphrey’s McGee. For the new tours are more than just a few dates in chronological order in an easy-to-read font. The tours bring courage to those who know how to use it. Real men and women, leaders all, start each and every day off with a new tour.
Go ahead. Click on the schedule for Garbage in Australia, KMFDM in Europe or ZZ Top in Fresno. Feel the power radiate from the screen, the sizzle as the energy moves along your optic nerve and impacts your frontal lobe. With Beck and Steve Winwood firing across the synapses, you’ll feel like a winner. Feel the rush as you grok the Stryper concert in Cleveland on September 29. Feel the absolute power, the erotic sexuality of all the Paul McCartney dates scrolling down your screen. Your heart pounds to The White Stripes. Your senses explode in pleasure unimaginable with Yellowcard.
As you move closer to the screen to see Pat Metheny Trio and Barry Manilow, your entire body starts to vibrate. Yes! You will make this day matter! You will go for the gold, grab the brass ring and go for the gusto! It’s Widespread Panic, Jesse McCartney and the Gang Of Four. It means you’re in control, you’re in the driver’s seat, you shall lead while others follow, you will be victorious! Carpe Diem! Seize the day!
And be sure to tell us all about it tomorrow. Meanwhile, we’re going back to bed.