Her tongue-in-cheek post was posted Tuesday on her NPR blog, Monitor Mix.

Here’s what Brownstein suggested for disgruntled fans:

1. Bands that used to be good back-in-the day but then embarrassed you by turning lame and churning out horrible albums should pay you for your wasted years of fan devotion.

“Now fans of, say, Weezer can sue for every record released after The Green Album and Metallica diehards can be compensated for what followed the group’s 1991 self-titled release. Pinpoint the album when the love of your life became the blight on your otherwise robust music collection, find out what that wasted time and energy is worth in dollars, and ask for it! Why should fans suffer for bad art?” Brownstein writes.

She makes a good point. If time is money, you should be compensated for all those hours you spent scouting out limited edition band T-shirts and posters on eBay and researching your favorite artist’s favorite ice cream flavor. Hopefully there’s no former Sleater-Kinney fans who think the indie rock band falls under the same guidelines.

2. Brownstein’s second suggestion name drops artists like Judas Priest’s Rob Halford and other artists that turned out to be gay, such as George Michael, Lance Bass and Bob Mould. She explains that you shouldn’t sue these artists for being gay, but for causing fans confusion.

“Would you, in your younger days, have loved the band any less? Would you have worshipped it in a way that said, ‘This is strictly platonic?” Would their music have been relegated to queer dance-club nights? Let’s be honest: You’re just not sure. And that’s why it’s important to get reimbursed for the subsequent confusion that you now feel.”

3. “You Died And I Never Got To See You In Concert: Born in 1990? Bummer. Form a group on Facebook that petitions for your generation to get a yearly stipend to make up for every good band you’ll never see because some or all of the members are dead.”

I’m not exactly sure who will be paying up for this option but not seeing the Beatles and other long-gone bands is a tragedy.

4. Lastly, Brownstein suggests that if you got married, danced your first dance to some sentimental tune, but are now divorced, the recording artist should pay you for the heartbreak you feel every time that song comes on the radio.

“Compile every passive-aggressive text message and email, add up the sexless nights, keep the receipts from couples therapy and divorce lawyers, and send the bill to the songwriter who started it all,” she writes.

Have any ideas of your own for some stellar band lawsuits? Leave us a comment!

Read Brownstein’s blog post here.