Paris Takes Miami

The courtroom drama that is Michael Goldberg v. Paris Hilton rolled out in front of a Miami judge July 9, with the receiver of Jack Utsick’s one-time promotion empire suing the erstwhile film star for failing to promote the box-office bomb “Pledge This!”

Utsick was executive producer and a major investor in the flop, which starred Hilton and quickly disappeared after its 2006 release. Goldberg seeks damages of $8 million, reportedly the cost of making the film. It made less than $3 million, and Hilton pocketed $1 million for her efforts.

According to Goldberg, those efforts allegedly fell short of her obligation to promote a film “she hated.” Audiences apparently hated it too – it was shown in fewer than 25 theatres before heading for the DVD rack.

“During the six-month period [before and after the film’s release], at no time would she take 10 minutes to do a phone interview,” attorney Bryan West said in opening statements.

Defense attorney Michael Weinstein disputed the claim that Hilton somehow shied from publicity.

“Paris Hilton is a promotion machine,” he said. “For two and one-half years, she relentlessly promoted that movie.”

The Miami Herald reported the earth-shattering courtroom news that Hilton is an Aquarius and therefore “creative,” proving so by doodling kitties on a notepad during testimony. The paper also noted she ordered a cheeseburger and a barbecue sandwich with a salad for lunch; and is paid to go to Las Vegas every year for her birthday.

Asked by Judge Federico Moreno to explain the title of her reality TV show “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF,” she replied, “You’re my best judge forever.” Somehow, the local media failed to pick up that she misspelled BFF.

The judge had yet to render a decision in the case by press time. It was believed that Hilton would take the stand July 17. It was not believed that Utsick, now living in Brazil, would make an appearance to see his reluctant former star.