They Don’t Make Rehab Centers For Being An A-hole

It’s no news that Mayer is known as a self-absorbed jerk in the press but somehow the ridiculous words that come out of this guy’s mouth still have the power to shock fans and critics.

Mayer’s latest series of offensive quotes come less than a month after his Rolling Stone cover story in which the singer-songwriter expounded on his love of masturbation and said that he hasn’t settled down yet because he’s searching for “the Joshua Tree of vaginas.”

Playboy brought up the hard questions, asking Mayer, “if you didn’t know you, would you think you’re a douche bag?” Mayer pointed out that his two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters,” saying: “If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. … I am a very … I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.”

He then proceeded to make people not love him very much by dropping the n-word.

“Someone asked me the other day, ‘What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?’ And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n***er pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass?”

Playboy asked if black women throw themselves at the musician and he said: “I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist.”

Mayer once again brought up masturbation (still loves it), porn (his biggest dream is to write pornography) and ex-girlfriend Jennifer Aniston (he’ll always love her and she’s scared of technology).

The Grammy-winner explained that ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson was “like crack cocaine to me. … It was like napalm, sexual napalm. … Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, “I want to quit my life and just fu**in’ snort you?”

Wednesday afternoon Mayer took to his Twitter account to make amends.

“Re: using the ‘N word’ in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it’s such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there’s no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged.

“And while I’m using today for looking at myself under harsh light, I think it’s time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews… It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it’s gotten out of hand and I’ve created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don’t have the stomach for it. Again, because I don’t want anyone to think I’m equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again.”

One of Mayer’s 3 million Twitter followers wrote that he was “waiting for [the singer] to follow up his apology with an announcement that he’s going to rehab.”

Mayer responded by writing, “They don’t make rehab centers for being an a-hole.”

During last night’s show at Nashville’s Sommet Center, Mayer had more to say. US Weekly reported that Mayer stopped playing his tune “Gravity” to apologize to his bandmates. The publication noted that some of his musicians are African-American.

“In the quest to be clever, I completely forgot about the people that I love and that love me,” Mayer said.

He explained he had had entered a world of “selfishness and greediness and arrogance in thinking that if I could just continue to be speedy and witty and pull together as many fast words and phrases as I could, that I could be clever enough to buy myself another day without thinking that anybody had finally pinned me down and said, ‘You’re a creep.’

“I think it’s important that you know that everybody on this stage is here playing with me not because they condone what I say in any interview … they’re on this stage because they support myself as a possible future grown-up.”

Mayer’s voice cracked as he continued on, saying: “And maybe they see something that I don’t. So maybe I need to take a break from trying to be clever and spend a little time looking at what they see – because they’ve done an unbelievable thing by standing on this stage and standing by my side playing tonight. It’s just not worth being clever. I quit the media game. I’m out. I’m done. I just want to play my guitar.”

The Playboy interview started off with a quote from Mayer – “I think the world would be better off if I stopped doing interviews.” And for once, I think fans and critics can agree with the singer. 

John Mayer, you may be waiting on the world to change, but we’re waiting for you.

Click here to read Mayer’s Playboy interview. (The site is obviously NSFW.)

Click here to check out Mayer’s apology at Nashville’s Sommet Center via Ustream.

Click here for Mayer’s Twitter account.