Thankfully, the bird’s eye view of the entire incident that went down at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater in Maryland Heights, Mo., last Friday night is now available. Writing under the nom de “plume” Archie Pigeon, Lee Farber posted a rather tongue-in-beak account of the entire episode on E! Online.

Describing himself as a music fan whose most exciting day in his life was when Ozzy Osbourne bit his uncle’s neck off, Farber, writing as the bird, describes going to see Kings Of Leon because “what else is a pigeon going to do on a hot Friday night?”

“I head up and find a private spot on the rafters. Not the best seat in the house, but listen, smoke rises, so maybe I’ll at least end up with a contact high.”

Pigeon goes on to complain about Kings Of Leon opening with an unfamiliar (to him) song before moving on to the main event, which for him began with an upset stomach.

“So I says to myself, ‘Screw it, I’m a pigeon, this is what pigeons do,’ and I let one go right on the bass player. I was aiming for the empty space next to his amp, but what am I, an Olympic f—king pooper?”

But while the first few drops may have been caused by an upset stomach, Pigeon claims he continued the bombardment because KOL had yet to play any song he recognized, resulting in stage and band looking “like when the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man exploded on the guy at the end of ‘Ghosbusters.’”

You know the rest of the story. Kings Of Leon leave the stage after three songs and the concert is canceled because of “safety issues.” However, in this version, the bird gets the last word, saying he hopes to have a better time at next week’s Rush concert.

Geddy Lee, you’ve been warned.

Click here to read the complete article on E! Online.