Glastonbury Is The U.K.’s Most Promiscuous Fest

Every festival season, dozens of brands try to attach themselves to festivals through gimmicky press releases and guerilla marketing tactics. It’s a practice I usually abhor – if you want the eyeballs, then spend the sponsorships bucks like everyone else – but occasionally, there’s a publicity stunt that is so off the wall, it deserves a mention in The Real.   

Sex toy retailer Lovehoney has released a survey of 1,000 festivals goers in the U.K., asking millennials to identify the best festivals for sex. This year’s winner by a landslide was Glastonbury with 34 percent of the vote.

“Sex, mud and rock ‘n’ roll,” exclaimed a press release from unidentified officials at Lovehoney. “It’s been another brilliant summer of love this year and it is great to see that the miserable weather hasn’t stopped music lovers from getting it on.”

Second place went to Creamfields, which with a name like that, should have a higher score than 13 percent. That was followed by Download Fest (I’m not really sure what they are downloading) followed by T in the Park and the awesomely named V Festival. How could Glastonbury be the most promiscuous festival? For one thing, size matters.

Glastonbury is twice the size of Creamfields and, hence, twice the amount of shagging going on. I also have my own theory: Creamfields and other EDM festivals go late into the night while Glastonbury has a curfew, sending festival goers back to their tents to find new ways to entertain themselves.

Tents, by the way, were voted the No. 1 place to get it on at a festival, followed by a car and then a campervan. Is there anywhere else to shag at festival besides those three places?

Apparently, the fourth most-answered location was a quiet spot in a field – I get it; it’s a long hike back to the campgrounds – followed by backstage, inside the dance tent and in the crowd.

This sounds very distracting for the audience. A small group of people said the portable toilet was their favorite spot which, of course, leads to other headaches at events – namely, long restroom lines.

The study also found that one in six said they’ve had sex with multiple partners at a festival, while 20 percent claim they’ve slept with a stranger while attending a festival.

Most interesting, the study found that 20 percent of respondents brought a sex toy to a festival. How they got it past security is anyone’s guess.