Spinal Tap’s Derek Smalls Drops ‘Must Crush Barbie,’ No Word On Tour

Legendary, and possibly apocryphal, bass player Derek Smalls of the mighty Spinal Tap today announced a new single, “Must Crush Barbie” via Bottomland Productions/Immortal Records.

The rejoinder to the “Barbie” film juggernaut, that’s dominated the summer box office and many a dinner and bar conversation and is Warner Bros highest grossing film in its 100-year history earning close to. $1.4 billion, may articulate the “Barbie” fatigue some feel.  That fatigue, when combined with Small’s massive losses on the crypto market, helped inspire the track.

“Been spending the last year or so as Brand Ambassador for BruegelCoin, the Dutch cryptocurrency,”  Derek Smalls said in a statement. “Since it was cratering this past spring, I was following the news more than usual, which is where I got bombarded by all the Barbie BS. I don’t know which angered me more, but it’s really hard to write a song about crypto. But the overwhelming shroud of pinkness definitely deserved a major pricking. And that’s where I came in.”

The “Must Crush Barbie” song was co-written, mixed and produced by CJ Vanston, who is also music director of Spinal Tap,  which was borne of the 1984 mocumentary “This Is Spinal Tap” directed by Rob Reiner (and “Jim Di Bergi”).  

Of that film, Smalls is unsparing in his withering criticism. “A hatchet job,” he says. “There were plenty of nights when we found our way to the stage, but of course, they didn’t show you that.”

Release of the new song also provided details on Smalls’ hardscrabble life.  It turns out he was born and raised in “Nilford, on the River Null in the West Midlands;” he was enrolled in the London School of Design, “because of the initials;” and he played in an “all-white Jamaican band Skaface.”  In between Spinal Tap tours, Smalls apparently joined a Christian heavy-metal band, Lambsblood who had the hit, “Whole Lotta Lord.”

While neither Smalls nor Spinal Tap have announced a tour, it’s not out of the realm of possibility. According to Pollstar Boxoffice reports, which includes six shows from the band’s  2001 “Back From The Dead Tour” and another from 2009’s “One Night Only World Tour” at Wembley’s SSE Arena, the band grossed over a million dollars on 19,570 tickets. The band also performed at “Live Earth” at Wembley Stadium in 2007 and at the Glastonbury Festival in 2009. Opening act on some dates included The Folksmen from the mocumentary “A Mighty Wind.”