Afraid of everything, that is. We were afraid to wake up in the morning. We were afraid to get out of bed. We were afraid of what the day might have in store. Heck, we were afraid of life.

As you can probably guess, being totally paranoid about what might happen left a huge vacuoushole in our lifestyle. We feared meeting people, we were terrified of job interviews, and we were totally petrified as to what we might do if we received a paycheck. That’s because bad things happen to good people, and we’d like to think that we’re good people. That is, if we weren’t so afraid of thinking that we’re good people.

But we digress.

Then a friend told us about concerts, and how a good performance, like a show by the Eagles or Coldplay, can eliminate all the fear that a body might have. Well, he wasn’t actually a friend, for we’re afraid of having any friends. Call him a mere acquaintance. Okay, it was something we read on the Web.

Anyway, we decided to swallow all our fears and take the advice. We ignored our fear of driving and went down to the Ticketmaster. We pushed back our fear of ticket clerks and ask the lady behind the counter about the shows coming to town. Then we completely put on hold our fear about strangers transmitting strange exotic diseases through the air while she told us what seats were available for Dead Poetic, Cake and American Hi-Fi. Finally, we ignored our fear about handling money (all those germs, you know?), and handed her some cash in exchange for tickets for Whitesnake and Megadeth.

It changed our life.

Now we go to all the shows. Last month we saw Bruce Springsteen and Sting, last week we caught a performance by the Gin Blossoms and next week we’re going to see Twisted Sister. We are no longer afraid. We faced our fears and watched them disappear. We are totally fear-free.

Well, almost…

You see, we’re still very, very afraid of dropping the editorial “We” in favor of the first person singular “I.” Oh, well. We fear we’re just going to have to take it one day at a time.