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Tours de Farce: It Goes Without Saying
That’s one of those old phrases that we often times speak without ever thinking about, like, “there’s only one way to skin a cat,” and “let sleeping dogs lie.” But do you really want to remove the skin from a feline or wake up a mutt? Of course not. But some of those old phrases live on well past their usefulness.
Here at Pollstar.com we have a few phrases of our own that have become part of the tour date collector’s jargon over the years. Heck, hardly a day goes by when someone, while plugging in dates for Thin Lizzy or Bob Weir & Ratdog, doesn’t mutter a phrase like “get out of my way before I punch your lights out,” or “Yes, that is a gun in my pocket.” And, like the aforementioned line about knickers, we blurt out those phrases with nary a thought as to what they might mean.
For instance, just this morning Operator #419 was entering new dates for Janis Ian when Operator #592 walked over and said “You smell like five-day-old road kill.” To which Operator #419 responded with, “Oh, yeah? Your mother wears Clear Channel boots.” Needless to say, both phrases have been in the Pollstar.com employees’ lexicon longer than we can remember.
But that’s the way it goes when you have a tight-knit group of people numbering somewhere around 9,575. Phrases and slang that we take for granted as being common in the outside world often turn out to be unique in our own little universe. For instance, one of our workers might accidentally enter a wrong date for Restless Heart, then bang on the keyboard and say something like “I can’t take it no more! I’m gonna kill them all! Kill them all!” But truth be told, we’ve been hearing that one for years.
Just like we’ve been hearing “I know where you live,” as well as “And then I’m coming after your children,” and “I’m gonna pound on your head so hard that you’ll have to unzip your pants to blow your nose.” Yeah, it’s phrases like those that make working here so special.
Of course, some of you might take exception to the little phrases and homilies that appear to be unique to the Pollstar.com work crew. However, we’ve heard it all before. In fact, more than one psychiatric study has shown that when a workforce such as ours spends day in and day out entering tour schedules for acts like M83, Gov’t Mule and Oteil And The Peacemakers, all the while constantly muttering phrases like “sleeps with the fishes,” “I’m gonna get you, sucka,” and “He needed killing,” that there just might be a problem, and that there may come a day when an employee just might turn those words into actions.
However, we never let it get our knickers in a bunch.