And no one ever will. That’s a promise those other concert info Web sites can’t make. At Pollstar.com you can spend hours looking up the schedules for all your favorites, like Bela Fleck & The Flecktones and B.B. King, and you won’ t suffer even a single scratch. That’s how safe we are.

You may not be aware of it, but one of the most heavily guarded secrets of the Web is the number of people each day who experience injury, fatality or worse while looking at Web sites. Cases of eye strain, acid reflux and brain implosions are more common than you think, and rank right up there with spyware, spam and fake photos on Match.com as some of the more overwhelming problems facing the World Wide Web today.

But you won’t find any of that here at Pollstar.com, where we work diligently to bring you fresh tour data each and every day. Sure, presenting routings for bands like Diecast and Brainstorm, and artists like Tom McRae, Jay-Z and David Benoit can often turn normally safe households into sadistic chambers of bloody torture. But not Pollstar.com, where you are protected from the tiniest hangnail to the most grotesque dismembering mankind has seen since the Spanish Inquisition. In short, if you use our Web site to look up dates, say, for Embrace or Elvis Costello, you are perfectly safe. And those other Web sites? We’ll just say that you better make sure your life insurance is paid up.

How do we do it? The answer is simple. We test each and every tour date that comes off of the loading dock, from a club date for Ekoostik Hookah to a stadium date for Oasis. And yes, sometimes all that testing does result in an unfortunate incident for our employees. Like Pollstar.com Safety Inspector #410, who, while testing the impact resistance of the Korn itinerary, was suddenly sucked into the Bizarro Universe by an unexpected rip in the time/space continuum. Now he’s gone and he ain’t coming back. He’s lost in a world where Yanni is heavy metal and Metallica is always acoustic. All because he wanted you to be safe.

So, click away! Click on The Black Keys, The Hives and Fear Factory! And while you’re at it, check out the new dates for The Mooney Suzuki and Faithless. You won’t suffer any cuts or bruises here. Nor will you encounter any messy, or life-threatening separation of needed bodily organs, for all the dates listed on this Web site are guaranteed to be 100 percent safe. You absolutely have nothing to fear when you’re surfing the tour dates at Pollstar.com.

That is, as long as you’re a Pollstar Premium member. So grab that credit card and join today. Before it’s too late.