Features
Tours de Farce: Semi-Permanent Vacation
We don’t actually work in the processing pits where schedules like the latest dates for The Crystal Method and A Perfect Circle are entered into our massive database that physically encompasses most of central California and forms the economic backbone that is Fresno, CA. No, we toil above ground, right next to the Olympic-size pool where we knock back margaritas all day while complaining that it’s too hot to work. That is, if we’re not yelling at the help to shave more ice and slice more limes. Damn Canadians, sometimes you have to draw them a picture if you want anything done right.
We’re also not responsible for answering all the email, like “When’s Lynyrd Skynyrd coming to my town?” or “How much do backstage passes for the Phish cost?” We pay people to do that for us. Well, actually we entice the little children from the local orphanage with vague promises that their parents are really coming back in order to persuade them to answer our email. So the next time you shoot us a message stating that we missed a date for Counting Crows or that we misspelled a city on the Bryan Adams itinerary, sign it “Mom & Dad.” It always makes their grubby little faces light up.
As you can guess, there’s more to this Website than what meets the eye. There’s thousands upon thousands of people entering dates for Britney Spears, proofing the schedule for Barenaked Ladies and updating the routing for Toby Keith. And it’s our job to ride on top of this vibrant wave that is the Pollstar.com workforce. It’s our responsibility to accept the praise and divert the complaints to someone else.
Because, when you get right down to it, we all have our particular jobs here at Pollstar.com, and our job is to ensure that everyone else does their jobs so we don’t have to bother with our job. Tough? You bet. In fact, you wouldn’t believe how tough our job is.
Heck if it wasn’t for the four-day workweeks and the six-month vacation policy, we’d go nuts.