Features
Tours de Farce: Cleaning Up On Concerts
Recently, several tour date Websites have taken it upon themselves to determine which dates for Anthrax, Duran Duran or Gareth Gates may not be suitable for viewing by their customers. Claiming that they are only protecting their users’ interests, Websites like CleanDates.com and RighteousRoutings.net regularly snip, cut, slice and dice the schedules for such artists as Good Charlotte and Pretty Girls Make Graves in an effort to remove individual dates that they have deemed “offensive” to their respective audiences.
“Those big boys in ‘Hollyweird’ who book Prince or Phish, they have no idea how those dates are perceived by the good people of our community, says Elmer “Fuddy Duddy” Gantry, Webmaster of PureTours.com, which screens every single date for Death By Stereo, Radiohead and Mya, and removes whatever city, state or venue that its users might find objectionable. “For example; Johnny Mathis playing in Newark on November 1 may seem innocent enough, but when one considers the suggestive nature of the playdate, it’s enough to make even the most liberal concert-goer blush with embarrassment.”
To be sure, concert itineraries have become far more daring in recent years. Booking agents often cite a public clamoring for adult themes as the main impetus for pushing the envelope when it comes to throwing in a little gratuitous sex and violence while routing tours for Cher and Barenaked Ladies. However, social critics have pointed to the additional Chicago date for Simon & Garfunkel, as well as the multiple night run for Luis Miguel in Los Angeles, as proof positive that the concert industry is pandering to the public.
“They claim that scheduling shows for Red Hot Chili Peppers and Aerosmith is an expression of the booking agent’s ‘artistic vision,'” says William Bennett, author of the bestseller The Book Of Itinerary Virtues. “However, that’s no excuse for the naked, nubile bodies hidden behind the listing of dates for 38 Special or Kings Of Leon. Trust me, it’s there. All you have to do is look for it. In fact, I’ve dedicated my life looking for it.”
Should concert schedules be censored before being delivered to the public? Or should itineraries, such as the new tours for Stan Ridgway and Straylight Run, be published as the booking agent envisioned them? While no major booking agent agreed to go on record for this report, the attitude of the industry in general seems to be expressed by one concert insider who would only comment upon condition of anonymity.
“We’re only serving up what the public demands,” says the agent. “Anyone who might be offended by looking at the dates for Korn or Staind, might be better off pursuing some other form of entertainment. Like going to the movies.”