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Tours de Farce: New World Reorder
You slip unnoticed through society. Big town, small town, it makes no difference. You’re just a background character, an “extra” in the movie called history. You arrive, do the job, then you’re gone. Oh, but what a job it is.
You’re a “fixer.” A member of the small, elite group of men and women that applies the glue that binds this world together. A whispered date for Duran Duran, maybe even an entire tour by Blue Man Group, there’s no telling how these changes in the concert universe will impact the world at large. The Stones postpone a date in England and gas prices jump in the United States. That’s the way the world really works.
And you’ve been busy. In the morning you arranged extra dates for Kansas so that Howard Dean can maintain his lead as a Democratic frontrunner in next year’s presidential primaries. Two weeks ago you arranged several new shows for Linkin Park, and the power went off in five states. Meanwhile, tonight’s adjustments for Echo & The Bunnymen will ensure that the Detroit Tigers stay on track to become the biggest losers in baseball history. Sure, it’s a nasty job, but, well, you know.
Of course, secrecy is the key. Your group has no building, no boardroom for meetings. You receive your instructions via fast food wrappings, whispered words in subway cars and secret hand signals delivered by clueless TV anchormen. Larry King wearing purple suspenders tells you to arrange a date for REO Speedwagon in Las Vegas, and before you know it, you’re changing the world we’ll all wake up in tomorrow.
And now it’s time to go back to work. Time for one of the most important assignments you’ll ever face. A task of Herculean proportions. You study the discarded Taco Bell wrapper you found in the streets. The instructions are clear, the outcome nearly impossible. But you’ll do your best. Sure, you’ll arrange dates for Helloween, Andrew W.K. and Raised Fist, but that’s not the solution. Instead, it’s only a beginning, for you’re priming the pump, so to speak, setting the stage for the biggest change in history to occur this year. A goal so daunting, so foreboding, that it seems almost impossible.
Impossible, that is, because your latest orders are to ensure that Gray Davis beats the upcoming California recall election. All you hve to do is come up with a plan. All you have to do is talk to the right people. All you have to do is remember how the world really works.
All you have to do is get The Beatles to reunite.