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Tours de Farce: The Future’s So Bright…
What a difference a decade can make! Especially when you consider the technological advances of the last ten years. For example, wearing nothing more than yesterday’s underwear, you can look up the schedules for Willie Nelson and Erasure. What’s more, you can scratch where it itches while looking at the new dates for Kool & The Gang, pick whatever needs picking while checking out the new tour for Gallagher and pop that which needs popping while browsing the listing for Dan Bern, all in the comfort of your own home. We are truly living in the age of tomorrow.
And what a tomorrow! With your digital cell phone, you can call anyone on the planet and make plans to see Guttermouth. With your computer you can eyeball the routing for Tony Danza, order tickets for The Used and Instant Message your friends about Paula Poundstone, Jeffrey Osborne and Cracker. What’s more, you can illegally trade songs by Aerosmith or Natalie Cole, thereby ticking off the major record labels to no end. Who would have thought of it?
And who would have thought of networking your entire home, so that your house greets you like an old friend, ensuring that your beer is cold, your dinner hot, and the dates for James Brown and Smokey Robinson awaiting you like a faithful dog awaits its master? Yes, this is the age of Buck Rogers, Flash Gordon and Miss Cleo all rolled into one. Where fans immediately know the dates for TRUSTcompany and Luther Wright & The Wrongs, sometimes even before they’re booked.
But there is one downside, one fly in the ointment, so to speak. Even though the last ten years have brought upon us a technological, sociological and illogical revolution never before seen in the history of the human race, there is one, disruptive fact that we can no longer ignore. We may have faxes, email and Web sites pushing concert information for Taylor Dayne and Gladys Knight. Even though we may live in an age where atomic clocks keep precise time down to the nanosecond, there is one isolated instance that prevents us from moving even further into the future.
For despite all the technological developments that have taken place over the last ten years, Axl still can’t make it to the gig on time. Amazing, isn’t it?