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Tours de Farce: Jewel, Diamond Dave and Infinity
A question a child might ask, but not a childish question. Is there an infinite number of dates, such as the ones listed for Yes or Mannheim Steamroller? Or is there a fixed amount of show dates that shrink or expand much like Peter Jennings salary and are dependent on current economic conditions?
On one hand, the chemical / nuclear reaction that results when a performance contract is signed seems to indicate that the world can only hold a finite number of show dates, no matter if the dates are for The Lettermen, A.F.I. or
Yet there are still those who cling to the old school which teaches that the amount of dates in any concert schedule, Little Feat, for example, is infinite and dependent only upon the stamina of the booking agent and the remaining charge left in the representative’s cell phone battery. Proponents of this theory point to the California energy crisis of 1999 as an example of when the tour date table, already stressed by global warming and the weakening ozone layer, dropped to its lowest amount since 1974 when then-President Richard Nixon reduced the nation’s tour bus speed limit to 55 miles per hour.
Clearly the scientific community is split on whether concert schedules, such as the latest for Jewel and Eek-A-Mouse, are limited as to how many individual dates might be contained within a single routing. Adding to the confusion is a controversial doctrine published by a renowned Arizona promoter and quantum mechanics physicist. In his paper, often referred to as the “Yanni Challenge,” Dr. D. Zelisko hypothesized that the number of dates for any artist is directly influenced by the amount of venue avails factored against the artist’s bank account, plus or minus the promoter’s cut of the gross.
Is there a limit to tour dates? One might very well ask if there is a limit to David Lee Roth’s efforts to promote women’s rights, or if there is a limit to the amount of four-letter words in one episode of The Osbournes. However, there is one solid concept that combines every theory of infinity in relation to concert schedules: When mixing numbers with the men and women who make up the concert industry, one is definitely operating in the outer limits.